Thursday, January 20, 2011

Who'd Have Thunk It?

January 20, 2011

From the "Life Imitates Icky Name" Department:

Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars have been recalled because of slightly elevated lead levels in some of the flavors.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Western Ways

January 17, 2011

And the answer is…

Yes, it is legal in Montana to ride a horse while under the influence.

After a public safety video showed the tongue-in-cheek alternative to driving drunk, the police chief of Helena got several calls from residents wanting to know if Riding Under the Influence was legal.

No word yet on whether the residents were merely curious, or if the hitching-post industry will boom.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Fan Mail

January 7, 2011

Dear Josh Groban,

I almost hate to say this, since I am not a sappy sentimentalist,


When you’re belting out the “Noels” in “Oh Holy Night”, it reminds me that there are some truly awe-inspiring things in the world. And I don’t even have to know what they are, it’s enough to know that they’re out there.

Nice work.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Good News and Bad News

January 5, 2011

From today’s Idaho Statesman:

On page 3 of the Business Section the headline reads, “Job Prospects Remain Grim for 2011”.

But on page 1 of the Business Section we see, “Social-media Job Opportunities Multiply”.

Mostly I'm tickled by how they do the good news/bad news routine on the same day.

But while I'm thinking of it: Go brush up on your social-media expertise—somebody may need you soon.

The New Lotus Eaters

January 3, 2011

In Homer’s Odyssey the Lotus Eaters make people lose track of all time and all desire to do anything but eat the lotus and have fun.

This morning, I had a half hour to spare before work. My choices were: print and mail a letter to my mom, drop off some drycleaning, drop off some library books, and go buy a book for my nephew; or watch a TV show I had recorded.

I think I know what the Lotus Eaters have evolved into.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Conspicuous Consumption

January 2, 2011

The best defense against conspicuous consumption is lack of storage space.

I took my annual Christmas trip to the mall—not to buy anything, but to look at the cute stuff that’s for sale. I get to admire other people’s creativity and enjoy the pretty displays, but I don’t have to store it. (I may not know how many square feet my house is, but I DO know that it won’t hold much junk.)

Even better: Next year I get to look at entirely new stuff—and I STILL won’t have to store it.

Gift Exchange

January 2, 2011

For people who are serious about receiving gifts: now has a program that will alert you to a gift that’s being sent to you, and lets you exchange it before you ever get it; but you can still thank the giver for the original gift.

I admire practicality, but geez! There’s something to be said for a little sentiment, too. I think my family handles it best—no matter what time of year it is, if you see something you think somebody might like, you send it. If you don’t, you don’t. Saves a lot of wear and tear on the nerves, and on the wallet—no forced Christmas giving.

Old-Time Movies

December 21, 2010

I watched “Good Morning, Miss Dove” this morning. Man, they made good movies back then (1955)!

I was watching it before work, and was therefore on a time budget. With modern movies, I can usually save time by fast-forwarding through sex scenes or shootouts, but in this case, I couldn’t. It was just a terrific movie, where every scene was worth watching.

I wish they would still make movies like that; movies where you’re just riveted because they’re SO GOOD, not movies where the makers are using cheap tricks to get your attention.