Thursday, November 30, 2017

Interview With A Vampire


November 29.2017

Now that so many news personalities are joining the ranks of accused sexual predators, I’d like to see one of them interviewed as follows:

1.      Mr. Newsman, how did you select your victims? Many women who worked with you said that they are stunned at the accusations, as you never once gave any indication that you were an abuser. What made you pick the specific women you targeted?

2.      Were there certain women that you wouldn’t have harassed even if their jobs made them vulnerable to retaliation if they reported you or refused you? What characteristics made you not pursue them?
               
(In other words, were there people that you were scared to mess with? Why?)

3.      Did you sexually harass people before you were famous and powerful, or was the activity an outgrowth of your increasing power and a sense of entitlement or invulnerability?

4.      If you didn’t harass people before you were powerful, was that because you didn’t have those tendencies, or because you didn’t think you could get away with it?

5.      If you don’t feel that you had those tendencies before, what was it that led you to act this way once you became powerful? In other words, are we all doomed every time somebody gets famous and/or powerful?

These are actual scientific questions that I’m interested in, by the way, and they apply to politicians and bosses as well.

Did their high profiles lead to an increased sense of entitlement, or a lowering of inhibitions, that told them that they should act on any impulse? Or would they have acted like this anyway?


Please, somebody, interview the predators. I really want to know.


Monday, November 27, 2017

Ah, That Christmas Spirit


November 26, 2017

When the ornaments persist in twisting so that the scene is toward the tree and not the room:


“Damn it, Santa, why can’t you ever face forward?”



Sunday, November 19, 2017

Old Twinkies Never Die


November 17, 2017

There used to be unkind jokes about the shelf life of Hostess Twinkies. Well, now they’ll last even longer.

I read recently that a distillery is using expired baked goods as a sugar source for its vodka, and Twinkies are a part of the mix.


They really are indestructible, huh?

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Update to “Interesting Development”


November 15, 2017

On September 1, 2017 I wrote that the St. Louis Blues had started grading ground in a public park for their practice rink. I assumed that they would get away with it, as the organization has lots of money to spend in convincing municipalities to see things its way.

But once it was informed of the situation, the National Park Service nixed the project, and the Blues are looking for a new spot. It feels good to see that business interests didn’t get to steamroll over the wishes of ordinary citizens.

My thanks to the citizens who fought for the park, instead of being like me and just assuming that there was nothing to be done.


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year


November 14, 2017

We’re at the sweet spot of the season: People are looking forward to the holidays,

And are not yet stressed about all the shopping they have to do.


The Eternal Question


November 15, 2017

Why is it that I can accidentally shrink any sweater that fits well,

But the one that’s just a little too large won’t budge?



Tuesday, November 14, 2017

It’s On a Case-By-Case Basis


November 14, 2017

A woman who says that she was assaulted by Roy Moore when she was 16 voted for Donald Trump years later, even after he had bragged about forcing his attentions on women.

I guess as long as he wasn’t assaulting her, she was OK with him.



Monday, November 13, 2017

What Could Go Wrong?

October 25, 2017

In order to keep people from stealing packages that are left on your front porch, Amazon has designed a sophisticated way for delivery people to leave the items inside your house if you’re not there.

So to recap:

In order to keep your neighbors from stealing your packages, Amazon will let a stranger into your home.



Sunday, November 12, 2017

Who’s Sorry Now?


November 12, 2017

Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby aren’t sorry, because they didn’t do it. Louis C.K. is sorry because he did it. Kevin Spacey is sorry if he did it, but he doesn’t recall doing it. Roy Moore didn’t do it, but if he had, he could have joined Warren Jeffs in using the Bible defense, according to one of Roy’s supporters. Harvey Weinstein has nothing to apologize for, but he is getting treatment for it.

While they’re sorting it out, I suggest that everybody else travel in pairs; 

or carry mace and a recording device.



Thursday, November 9, 2017

Is That What’s Meant by “Karma”?


November 8, 2017

I read in the paper this morning that a man scammed some pharmacists and health care providers out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. 

Ironically, he had hooked them by promising to get rid of their convictions, and subsequent license revocations, for…health care fraud.


Wednesday, November 8, 2017

So, You Want To Be In Pictures


October 20, 2017

More musings on the Weinstein situation:

If you’d like your shot at the small screen, but don’t want to take your clothes off for the opportunity, there’s an easier way.

Volunteer for something.

Within 2 months of moving to Idaho, I’d been filmed helping at a local festival. Two years after moving to Missouri I was also caught on camera doing something useful. My sister was filmed helping out at a food pantry in Illinois. It was accidental for us, but you can strategize if you want to.

The great thing is, in addition to helping out a worthy cause, you can see how you’d look on camera. Who knows, maybe you’ll decide it’s not for you.

It won’t make you famous, but it might make your mother proud.


Monday, November 6, 2017

The Car-Chase Scenes of Ballet


November 5, 2017

I just got back from seeing “Giselle.” Nice ballet. But what is it with ballet and dancing villagers? Do you know how much time you could save going to the ballet if the villagers didn’t all start dancing around for no apparent reason?


Dancing villagers are like the car chases of ballet: They do nothing for the plot, but they take up time and they look good.



Friday, November 3, 2017

Oh, THAT Old Excuse!


November 3, 2017

Organizers of a pet expo that was to be held in St. Charles, Missouri canceled it at the last minute, claiming that one of their accountants had destroyed a large number of the company’s financial records.

Apparently she believed that the COO was the Antichrist.


As excuses go, it’s pretty original.


Wednesday, November 1, 2017

But It’s What I Excel At!


November 1, 2017

Seen on Facebook this morning: “You did not wake up this morning to be mediocre!”

I’m like, “Hey, go with what you know.”


A New Personal Best


November 1, 2017

This year I didn’t open the Halloween candy until Halloween.