How to End the Iran War

 

July 20, 2026

 

Mr. President:

 

At this time, we are unable to approve allocation of funds to build your arch, due to the cost of the conflict with Iran.

 

Congress

 

Good Sports

 

July 18, 2026

 

Cardboard boat races—I love ’em.

 

You get to watch people who have constructed boats out of cardboard and duct tape—and who have decorated them beautifully—paddle across a swimming pool, and see whose boat holds up and who wins.

 

Truthfully, I go as much for the decorations as the action, but they’re always fun to watch.

 

The last time, it was a little different. In the last race, one boat fell apart before they even got started—it had to be fished out of the pool in pieces. So one little guy had the field all to himself. But they let him get in his boat and paddle his little heart out to get to the other side, and the crowd cheered him on.

 

That is the definition of being sporting.

 

They were Wandering, They weren't Lost

 

July 18, 2026

  

The Bible study lesson was about how Moses’s father-in-law told Moses to delegate, and what a fine idea that was. But there was an unspoken lesson there.

 

You grow up hearing about how the Israelites were lost for 40 years, and hearing jokes about how it was because Moses wouldn’t stop to ask directions.

 

But Jethro found them with no trouble, and managed to get back home again.

 

They weren’t lost. They were wandering, they were stuck outside the Promised Land—but they were a very dominant force in the area, and they managed to find their way around just fine.

 

It’s still a good joke, though.