Never Give Up

December 26, 2018

I just read about a dance company in Venezuela that is helping disabled people perform. Young dancers with conditions such as cerebral palsy, broken spines, and blindness are able to participate in dance, thanks to dance company AM Danza.

I thought it was pretty cool. Then I looked and saw that there are dance companies in several countries that do that, which I thought was even cooler.

Because a Sailboat Is Too Tame

December 30, 2018

A Frenchman is attempting to cross the Atlantic Ocean in a “barrel”. His capsule is shaped like a barrel on its side, not on end, and he can cook in it, as well as sleep in a bed.

He says he’s already crossed the Atlantic in a sailboat four times, and now he wants to see what the trip is like, just floating with the currents.

He’ll turn 72 during the trip.

Getting Along

December 26, 2018

I was touched to read about the Jewish and Muslim Day of Community Service in St. Louis. It started when a small group of Jewish and Muslim friends came together to relieve Christian volunteers on Christmas Eve of 2010. The first official Day of Community Service was Christmas Day of 2011.

Since then, it has evolved into an event with a communal breakfast before doing the volunteer work; a pot-luck lunch, where people are asked to bring a dish that represents their religion, culture or family tradition; and classes for participants of all faiths to learn about each other. In addition to the volunteering, of course.

Way to go!

As Long as We’re Taking Numbers…

December 28, 2018

Thinking about taking numbers at popular exhibits at the science museum made me wish that Stop signs had sensors that would determine who pulled up to the intersection first. The signs would light up or flash in the order of arrival, to indicate which car would go when.

Maybe the people who favor rolling (or California) stops would actually take their turn instead of steamrolling right on through.

Mammals Have All the Fun

December 27, 2018

Over 100 people took part in the second annual March of the Dinosaurs in Kansas City. The crowd spilled into the street, which raised safety concerns, since the area was experiencing higher-than-normal traffic because of the holidays. So, alas, police shut the march down.

I don’t know why the organizer started it. I don’t know where all those people found dinosaur costumes.

But I do know that it sounds like fun.

The Science of Behavior

December 26, 2018

Dear St. Louis Science Center,

Maybe at some of your more popular exhibits, you could have one of those machines that dispenses numbers to determine who’s next in line.

There was almost a rumble at the Virtual Reality display today.

A Scarlet Letter from Q

December 20, 2018

I’ve nearly been sideswiped three times in three days by reckless drivers. (Only one of them could have been fatal, so I probably shouldn’t complain.) They were too busy weaving in and out of traffic to properly check their mirrors, I suppose.

I’ve decided that it would be swell to have a button on my steering wheel that would shoot a paintball pellet at people who almost cause wrecks because of their dangerous driving. Not only would it annoy them but, like the Scarlet Letter, it would brand them as well.

Maybe the James Bond folks can come up with something.

Gotta Have That Christmas Dinner

December 27, 2018

A man in Kentucky was arguing with his wife over which day they should eat Christmas dinner. He threw a number of items, including the Christmas ham, at her.

(Yes, he was arrested.)

Not the Most Useful Advice

December 27, 2018

The federal government is not insensitive to the plight of employees whose finances are adversely affected by the shutdown.

The Office of Personnel Management suggested that furloughed employees could ask mortgage lenders if they could make partial payments. It also posted sample form letters that they could use.

OPM also tweeted that employees should contact personal attorneys if they need help dealing with creditors.

And pay them with what???

December 31, 2018

In a further effort to help furloughed government employees meet their financial obligations, the OPM advised them to ask their landlords if they could swap chores for rent.

Food Can Be Tricky

December 16, 2018

I’m reading a fascinating book: Why You Eat What You Eat, by Rachel Herz. It’s about how our brain and perceptions affect the taste of food and drink. Some stuff we’ve heard in short form through pop culture (“Presentation is everything”), but this book talks about the neuroscience behind the decisions we make regarding how much we like or don’t like food.

It explains why a fancy label can trick your brain into thinking cheap wine is good wine; why we think that attractively plated food is more tasty than food just slopped on the plate any old way; how ambient sound affects the way we perceive taste; etc. 

(In fact, it was in this book that I saw the quotation from Cicero: “Nothing is so unbelievable that oratory cannot make it acceptable.” Your brain really can trick you.)

You won’t read it in one sitting, but it is pretty eye-opening. Check it out.

I Hope It Wasn't My Fault

December 16, 2018

The pay for the CEO of Energizer remained flat this year, at $6.7 million. Energizer’s earnings per share fell 33% in fiscal 2018.

Part of that is on me, I’m afraid. I bought some Energizer batteries, but since you can’t mix them and the copper-topped ones, and we already had the copper-topped ones at home, I took the Energizers back.

I hope the CEO can survive on what he made this year, so that I don’t have to feel guilty.

Eating While Under the Influence

December 19, 2018

A guy in Florida tried to pay for his McDonald’s drive-through order with pot. Not surprisingly, he was under the influence at the time, as the police determined when he came back, after having been rebuffed the first time.

It’s unclear whether he was going to pay with cash the second time or not, as the police grabbed him and hauled him away before he could get to that part.

Because It's So Traumatic

December 19, 2018

A man who led a massive poaching ring in Southwest Missouri was sentenced to a year in prison, and has to watch “Bambi” once a month while he’s in jail. The judge is hoping that the scene where Bambi’s mother gets killed will soften his heart.

I don’t think that anybody else is very optimistic.

One for Trump

December 19, 2018


The Trump administration is moving to outlaw bump stocks.

I hope it works.

He Wasn't All Bad

December 16, 2018

Speaking of Cicero (see yesterday’s post), I saw this quotation of his in a book I was reading:

“Nothing is so unbelievable that oratory cannot make it acceptable.”

Scarily true.

For the Latin Scholars Among You

December 14, 2018

The copier at a friend’s office is a pain in the neck, and the staff was debating what to call it. My friend proposed that it be called Cicero,

because it’s self-centered, persnickety, and annoys everyone.

When You're Desperate to Spend Money

December 16, 2018

Another of those gift guides appeared in the paper today—the ones that have items you’d never dream existed, let alone think of paying good money for. This one was a little different. I could actually see buying somebody a novelty gift of a Harry Potter Bath Bomb for $4.99.

The Dolce and Gabanna Smeg toaster, for $850, not so much.

Mysteries of the Bible

December 13, 2018

I was killing time reading the Bible before church started last week, and I came upon the story of Ahaz, who took the throne at age 20 and ruled for 16 years. When he died, his 25-year-old son took over.

At first glance, it seemed like he was a very early begetter. Then I thought that maybe there was a gap—you know, he got kicked off the throne, then things happened, and then his son took over. I cross-referenced Kings and Chronicles and they both told the same story, which upheld the early begetting theory.

So today I typed into Google, “How old was Ahaz…” I didn’t have to type in any more than that, and the rest of the question popped up…“when Hezekiah was born?” Clearly a lot of people have been wondering.

(In case you’re wondering: There are several theories, but no definitive answer.)

Now They Have to Pay the Harassment Settlements Themselves

December 15, 2018

In “Not Right Now, I’ve Got a Headache” (Dec. 5, 2017) I noted that Congress had a fund, paid for by taxpayers, to settle sexual harassment cases against members.

Well, rest easy.

A bill has been passed by both the House and the Senate that will require offenders to pay the settlements themselves. The settlements must also be disclosed publicly.

So, check that off your “Things to Be Aggravated About” list.

How Bad Can It Be?

November 15, 2018

I drive down the road and see the NASCAR wannabees zooming, weaving, cutting in, and generally being one swerve away from causing a massive accident, with no consequences whatsoever. Another time I’ll see a car pulled over by a policeman, and think, “What could you have POSSIBLY done to get yourself pulled over?”

I read a library book and ask, “How bad a writer do you have to be to NOT get published?”

And let’s not talk about the radio. Ever wonder about the songs that weren’t considered good enough to be played? How bad must they be?

Just wondering.

Baby, It's Nuts Out There

November 30, 2018

True story: I’d never even heard the song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” until I saw it performed on “Glee” a few years ago. But I enjoyed the back-and-forth banter, so when it came on the radio, I listened.

When the stories broke about the large number of women being drugged and raped by celebrities, I thought that the line, “Say, what’s in this drink?”was unfortunate. However, not being a stranger to nuance, I knew that it was just one more piece of banter. (Anybody who can say, “My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious” in a clear voice is not under the influence of anything.)

Now the song has been banned from radio stations. That seems a little tone-deaf to me.

Can we all recover our equilibrium?

It's Good for Business

December 9, 2018

John Kelly is leaving the White House, which means that there may soon be another tell-all book about behind-the-scenes doings in the Trump administration.

All this turnover is turning out to be great for the publishing business.

It's Only Demonic if You're Not Paying Us for It

November 25, 2018

The pastor of James River Church in Ozark, Missouri, has warned his congregation against practicing yoga, which he says has demonic roots. The Assembly of God church has about 10,000 members, some of whom are actually yoga instructors.

Since the sermon, yoga teachers in the area have experienced a severe drop in class attendance, and it’s hurting their businesses.

However, a fitness center owned by the church offers a “body flow” class. According to some yoga teachers, one pose it teaches is identical to the Downward Facing Dog of yoga.

So—is yoga only demonic if you’re paying a non-church-owned gym to teach it?

Good Sportsmanship

November 23, 2018

Not sure how I missed this story last year, but it’s a goodie:

A 9-year-old boy who had never played goalie in hockey before volunteered because his team’s goalie didn’t show up for a match. His inexperience showed: He allowed 7 goals in the first period.

During the break, the other team’s goalie came over and gave him pointers. During the next 2 periods, the newbie only gave up 4 goals.

Kid A has guts, Kid B has heart.

Now, go face the day with the cockles of your heart well and truly warmed.

The Holiday Shopping Sales Mystery Solved

November 23, 2018

In November of 2010 I griped that the paper kept printing holiday shopping forecasts that wildly fluctuated from day to day, and said that they should just print the results in January and save newsprint in the meantime.

On November 22, 2018 the Post-Dispatch ran a column by Barry Ritholtz, a Bloomberg Opinion columnist, who explains why the predictions go up and down. He says it’s because the numbers are based on surveys, not data; and people don’t really remember how much they spent last year and won’t predict well how much they’ll spend this year, so it’s really all guesswork.

It’s nice to have that mystery solved.

APB on a Biped...

November 21, 2018

After the stories about people wanting to legally change age and gender, I wonder how long it will be before someone asks to legally change his or her species.

The guidelines for identifying people could take inventiveness to a whole new level.

Why Not Just Lie About It?

November 15, 2018

Still reeling from the possibility of people having Gender X on identification documents, I encountered this tidbit:

A Dutch man wants to make age optional as well. He doesn’t want to be 69, because he’s having a hard time getting dates online. He figures that if he says he’s 49, he’ll have better luck. So he asked a court for permission to officially change his age.

Why doesn’t he just lie about his vital statistics online, the way everybody else does?

November 17, 2018

The Post-Dispatch had a more ingenious solution: He should legally change his planet. Mars takes 687 days to orbit the sun, so if he were from Mars, he’d only be about 37.

December 9, 2018

The court rejected his request.

Maybe We Should Take the Hint

November 15, 2018

Someone is really dead-set against the Loop Trolley in St. Louis. (I mean, somebody besides almost every taxpayer who helped fund it.) It was originally expected to begin operation in 2013. Construction began in 2015, with a proposed opening date in 2016. There were delays.

Today, November 15, 2018, was to be the Big Day. The trolley is ready to go, and was set to start running at noon.

BUT: A major snowstorm cancelled the opening.

I think I’ll let somebody else take the first ride. Just in case.

November 21, 2018

The trolley us up and running, but not the full route yet. Someday…

Add Zombies to the List

November 15, 2018

Kentucky governor Matt Bevin has floated a reason for the recent spate of mass shootings:

Zombies.

Previously he blamed video games, cell phones, and access to psychotropic drugs for gun violence. This time he specified the fascination with zombies in games and film, arguing that American culture is “inundated by the worst things that celebrate death.”

Speaking of the shootings, he said, “We’ve had things that are fueled by both people that are insane, people that are hateful, and people that are just bent on wreaking havoc and perpetuating evil.”

I’m not disagreeing that the ritualized violence that people are encouraged to watch and participate in is not helping. But he forgot to add one other thing to the list:

Guns that fire multiple rounds in seconds, accessible, by law, to the insane, the hateful, and the people that are just bent on wreaking havoc and perpetuating evil.

OK, Governor, we’ll work on the zombies. You work on the guns.

Maybe They Were Sampling the Product

November 7, 2018

In an online article about how marijuana initiatives fared in four states, the word “recreational” was spelled correctly twice; and also as: “recrational” and “recrtational” (twice).

Wonder what that was all about?



(BTW, my auto-correct keeps fixing the spelling, so I’m really not sure what was going on with the writer’s computer.)

Math from an Artist's Perspective

October 27, 2018

A friend of mine tutors high school students in math. When they ask when they’ll ever use Algebra 2 or Calculus she says,

“Don’t think about what you’re going to use it for. Just think about how beautiful it is!”

It was a whole new perspective for me.

He Must Be New at This

November 3, 2018

A Missouri man entered a car dealership intending to scam someone, and he did. After he filled out the paperwork for a credit check, then left, a woman working at the dealership noticed that her wallet was missing.

However, the man was easily identified and apprehended, since he had given the dealership a copy of his driver’s license when he filled out the paperwork.

Are We Still Playing That Game?

October 25, 2018

When Donald Trump was running for president, the media gave great attention to every outrageous utterance he made. They thought that they were highlighting his unsuitability; all they were really doing was giving him free air time.

And now that he’s president, they’re still doing it. Everything he says, from the infamous “There were faults on both sides” remark to his latest—blaming the media and Fake News for bombs being sent to his detractors—is repeated loudly and commented on and given way more air time than it deserves. People are acting like the person making the comments is a responsible citizen, whose mind they will change by arguing with him.

I’d like to see these pronouncements given all the attention they deserve—a small paragraph on page 12 (or the online equivalent)—so that people can stop focusing on them and giving the man the attention he so desperately craves. All that does is play into the myth that his comments are worth listening to.

What people should be paying attention to are the assaults on civil rights, the erosion of environmental protections, and foreign policy, to name a few things.

Stop playing the game.

Guide to the Holidays

November 1, 2018

OK, Halloween is over, and you know what that means—It’s time for the Holiday Entertaining Guide.

Just recapping some holiday tips we’ve had here.

-Put out a new roll of toilet paper before the party. Your guests don’t want to have to hunt for it.

-Never assign bringing appetizers to the chronically late person.

-Don’t wait dinner for the chronically late person. Your other guests deserve hot food—and they were courteous enough to show up on time.

-Shop for gifts in the morning, not in the afternoon when everybody else is taking off work and clogging up the stores.

-My favorite gift-wrap method: Let somebody else do it.

-Don’t spend more than you can afford on presents, even if you have a spending over-achiever in the crowd. Get the best Christmas socks $2 can buy, and hand them out every year, if that’s all you can afford.

-Books are excellent stocking-stuffers, even if they don’t fit in the stockings. And the library usually has paperbacks in good condition that they sell for 50 cents.

-Pastors: Don’t wait until Christmas Eve to preach on the evils of using the Christmas season as merely a gift-giving/receiving season. It’s too late. Also, keep the Christmas Eve and Christmas sermons SHORT.

-All you people and groups who ask for extra money during the holidays: Stop It.

-I like Christmas baking, but I also like cutting out pictures of beautifully decorated cakes and candies from the catalogs that start flooding the mailbox at this time. They’re way prettier than what I can make, and I save a bundle on calories by looking and not eating.

-Most important: Grab your favorite movie, sit back, and enjoy the season. 

He Should Have Watched "National Treasure"

October 27, 2018

A person with a hammer tried to smash the glass box surrounding the Magna Carta at Salisbury Cathedral.

Any Hollywood aficionado could have told him that the straightforward approach never works when you’re trying to steal something valuable: You have to have elaborate schemes involving phony maintenance men, and crashing hifalutin’ parties in order to lift authorized fingerprints to bypass security measures.

Amateurs. Sheesh!

Hollywood, Grand Theft Auto, and Donald Trump

October 26, 2018

A man sent bombs in the mail to a number of critics of President Trump. Another man groped a woman on the plane, and said that the president said it was OK to grab women by the genitals. People are blaming the president’s intemperate remarks and approval of violent tactics for the men’s actions.

Donald Trump isn’t anyone I’d want as a role model, for sure, but I’m inclined to think that people do things like that because they’re mentally unstable, not because they’re fervent believers in politics. Like people who bomb abortion clinics in the name of Christianity—the majority of people who disapprove of abortion just don’t do that, no matter how strong their beliefs.

It’s also funny that Hollywood, which has been denying for years that its violent movies have led to real-world violence, is full of people who are prepared to blame the president for the current climate of incivility. All we need now is for the makers of Grand Theft Auto to start tsk-tsking at the president for objectifying women.

Maybe, instead of aiming for how low we can go, we could all move a rung or two up the ladder and try to model good behavior, not whacked-out violent scenarios that call to our basest selves; so that people who emulate what they see and hear in the media would have a higher plane to start from.

Be Careful What You Blog

October 24, 2018

A woman who wrote a blog post about how to murder your husband has, in fact, been arrested in her husband’s murder.

Well, at least she knows somebody was reading her blog.

It Wasn't Worth the Savings

October 24, 2018

A tourist in Venice climbed onto a waterbus without buying a ticket. When the ticket collector came by, she jumped into the water in order to avoid being caught.

She was then charged with swimming illegally and fined 450 euros, plus 77.50 for not having bought a ticket.

I tried looking up the price of the water taxi, and, as near as I can figure, it would have been about 8 euros to just buy the ticket in the first place.

Whose Credibility is in the Toilet?

October 24, 2018

A current candidate for Illinois governor came up with an ingenious way to avoid paying property tax in 2015: He removed toilets from his second home and then declared that the house was “uninhabitable”. The house’s value was lowered from $6.3 million to a mere $1.1 million, and the candidate saved a bundle in taxes.

The fraud was discovered last year, and only now has the candidate agreed to repay the taxes.

Here’s the sad thing: As of October 3, the candidate was still 22 points ahead of his opponent in the polls.

Somebody sure has a credibility issue.

Boring? Us?

October 20, 2018

The Nebraska Tourism Commission is trading on Nebraska’s reputation as a boring state to put out some pretty cool ads. One ad says, “Famous for our flat, boring landscape” printed over an image of people jumping across some pretty impressive rock formations.

I like their style. 

Know Your Market

October 20, 2018

A 9-year-old Canadian Girl Guide followed her father’s advice to set up her cookie stand outside a marijuana shop,

and sold out in 45 minutes.

When Grown-Ups Disagree

October 12, 2018

“Just because we went a few rounds over a patient doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

I love that line from “Grey’s Anatomy.” What a beautiful sentiment: Just because you disagree with somebody over one thing doesn’t mean that you can’t agree on anything—or that you have to hate each other.

Wisdom for the ages.

It Was Bigger on the Inside

October 13, 2018

A man was telling me that a friend of his wanted to believe in God, but that he had a lot of questions: Like, how COULD two of every animal have fit into the ark? He had run the numbers, and there was just no way the vessel could hold them all.

It’s too bad neither of them watched Doctor Who, or they would have figured out the answer:

Obviously, the Ark was a TARDIS.

No Fitness Accessories Needed

October 11, 2018

I’ve decided that, to counteract the constant barrage of fitness instructions we get—Shoulders back, stomach in, stand up more at work, sit up straight at your desk, etc.—I’m going to institute a Daily Slouch. I think that five minutes of slouching would do people a world of good.

Go on, you know you want to.

Don't Let the Small Stuff Stand in Your Way

October 4, 2018

According to Sir Paul McCartney, none of the Beatles could read or write music.

Imagine that: They changed the entire music scene with no formal music education whatsoever.

What excuse do the rest of us have for not doing our thing?

(Of course, they each had a little help from their friends.)

A Stirring Innovation

September 30, 2018

I got tired of fooling with those paint-stirring sticks, so I headed over to the kitchen aisle to get a wooden spoon.

I found something even better: A set of plastic spoons shaped like wooden spoons, but easier to clean paint from.

I love them.

In Keeping with the Spirit of the Occasion...

September 20, 2018

Funny situation: I’ve got a scarecrow that I put out in the yard in October. It’s looking kind of ratty, so I thought maybe I’d replace it.

Then I thought—It’s a scarecrow! It’s supposed to be ratty!

Guess I’ll give it another year.

Once Fall Begins...

September 23, 2018

Well, Labor Day has come and gone, and you know what that means:

Get your cranberry Jell-O and mincemeat before they’re gone. If you wait until Thanksgiving, you won’t have a prayer of getting your hands on any.

Give Your Kids a Fighting Chance

September 25, 2018


Once again sexual assault is making national headlines.


Sign your kids up for a self-defense class.

It doesn’t make girls less feminine, and it doesn’t turn people into killers. It makes them less vulnerable to attack; hence the name, Self-Defense. 

Our self-defense teacher gave us a special lesson on techniques to use when being pinned down during rape attempts. It was very useful, and I wish all girls were trained in those techniques.


A self-defense course won’t protect people from every assault, but it will at least give them an edge.


You can’t protect your kids from everything, but you can at least give them a fighting chance.

Making Healthy Choices

September 20, 2018

From the Innovative Uses Department:

A strip that was invented to test whether patients who were prescribed fentanyl were using it can now be used by heroin users to see if their heroin is cut with fentanyl.

There is a push from some groups to give the strips to drug users so that they can test the purity of their drugs before shooting up. Reaction is split between people who have seen it help heroin users modify their intake (if it has lots of fentanyl, they’ll use less), and those who have seen it do no good at all.

I’m just trying to wrap my head around the idea of giving people a way to test how pure their illegal drugs are.

Who Are You Calling a Millennial?

August 31, 2018

In a previous post I cited articles and columns that concluded that cooking is becoming a lost art among Millennials and Gen Xers. I had a couple of problems with the theory. Here’s one more:

The student cited as a non-cooker was living in New York, she was getting good money from a job, and was also supported by her parents. She does not sound representative of an entire generation. Nor even all New Yorkers. She sounds like a part of a subset of Millennial/Gen Xers/Gen Zers.

Do Midwestern Gen X’ers carry on this way? Do all New York Gen X’ers carry on this way? Are the people making the generalization perhaps focusing on a narrow section of the population?

The term “Millennials” is supposed to refer to an age group; but it seems to me that it often refers to what used to be called “Yuppies”: Young, upwardly mobile people. Not every Millennial/Gen Xer/Gen Zer has access to unlimited restaurant choices, or enough money to pay for them.

So when you’re throwing around the term “Millennials”, make sure you’re talking about everybody in the age bracket.

Otherwise, specify which subset you’re talking about.

Lost Art, or Over-Generalization?

July 25, 2018

The food columnist in the paper is worried that people are losing the art of cooking. His fears aren’t helped by an article published in the Harvard Business Review that said that fewer people say they like cooking than they did several years ago; and by a post on some website by a young woman in New York City who spends a ton of money on restaurants; and by a celebrity chef who says that Millennials, Gen X’ers and Gen Z’ers want good food and want it fast, so they aren’t cooking as much.

I e-mailed him to say that I thought that people would be more interested in cooking if recipes actually had ingredients that they recognized; that once people start having families, they’ll probably start cooking again, or they’ll go broke; and that people who immigrate to the U. S. will probably bring the home-cooking mentality with them, so that cooking will hang on a while longer. He was very nice about it, but remained unconvinced.

I also question the blanket assumption that all Millennials, Gen X’ers and Gen Z’ers are restaurant-hounds. But I’ve saved that for another post.

February 27, 2019

The columnist wrote today about cooking real food, with ingredients you have on hand. I like to think that I had a hand in it.

Name the National Anthem

September 18, 2018

I was at the church picnic the other day, and, it being September (although not September 11), the emcee was waxing patriotic and referring to dark times that the country has come through. Then someone performed a solo of “God Bless America.”

I was a little surprised when first one person, then more and more, started rising as she sang, but I thought, “Well, church, God, OK.” But then I saw people putting their hands over their hearts.

Folks, “God Bless America” is not the National Anthem.

A few years ago I referenced Isaac Asimov’s contention that no American knows all the verses of the National Anthem. But I thought we could all at least name it.

It Ain't Natural

September 18, 2018

I wrote about scientists trying to reduce methane emissions by feeding cows seaweed.

Because I didn’t want to be a spoilsport, I didn’t mention all the things that have gone wrong every time scientists mess with the natural order of things. Think rabbits in Australia; think kudzu in the southern U. S. And now…Bradford Pears.

Bradford Pears are pretty. But they have cross-pollinated with other pears and the offspring are reverting to Chinese Calley pears, which are thorny nightmares, which choke out native trees.

So before you start going crazy with the seaweed, Scientists…Think about how what you’re doing—possibly creating a demand for huge seaweed farms, and all the disruption that that could entail—could affect us all down the line.

There IS an Easy Answer

September 19, 2018

It looks like the Emmy Awards lost viewers this year. They actually did a good thing by keeping acceptance speeches short, so I thought I might actually last the course; but they had one fatal flaw.

Awards shows—or, as I like to call them, the Who Can Show the Most Cleavage Without Actually Falling Out of the Dress shows—have one thing in common:

They aren’t funny.

I’ve got to assume that they put talented writers on the job; but it seems like the very act of writing for an awards show turns the comedy-writers’ brains to mush.

So if you want people to watch awards shows: Make them entertaining, not lame.

The End

The 2018 Ig Nobels

September 18, 2018

OK, it’s time for my favorite science prizes, the Ig Nobels.

The highlights:

Wine experts can detect, by smell, a single fly in a glass of wine.

A pediatrician from Japan won a prize for his self-colonoscopy study. He’d rather you not try it at home, though.

Getting your aggression out on a virtual voodoo doll can actually help reduce workplace stress. Thankfully, actual voodoo was not used in the study.

That's One Way to Reduce Emissions

August 31, 2018

A study is testing whether feeding seaweed to cattle will reduce those pesky methane emissions from cattle that contribute so much to global warming.

There are many obstacles to overcome, but the initial study indicated that the bovine methane emissions could be reduced by 30%.

I’m not going to go into any more detail, I just thought I’d pass the news along.

Growing Pains

September 13, 2018

Several states are allowing or considering allowing the gender designation of X on birth certificates and drivers licenses.

Imagine the All Points Bulletins that police will have to come up with.

“Suspect is Caucasian, has brown hair, brown eyes and female characteristics.”

“Suspect is blonde with a five-o’clock shadow…”

I am very glad that I am not an official who has to navigate these tricky waters.

The Updates are Back

September 7, 2018

The e-mail updates on blog posts stopped in May, but they’re back again.

If you only read the blog when you get an e-mail update, you’ve missed quite a few posts; 

so if you want to, you can access the blog through this e-mail and go back and read what you’ve missed.

Why I Like Talking to God

September 6, 2018

Why I like talking to God:

You Never Have to Lie

We lie to our parents and our friends and ourselves. But you don’t have to lie to God: He already knows the truth. So you can say,

      “I hit my brother just because I was mad, not because he started it.”

       “Yes, I did cheat on the test.”

      “I told myself that I was trying to help a co-worker, but I was really just pointing out her shortcomings to the boss.”

      “I told myself that I didn’t invite my wife to the office function because she hates them; but I really just wanted to flirt with a co-worker.” Etc.

Owning up to what’s really going on, whether you’re talking to God or just being honest with yourself, helps clarify life. And helps you understand why your co-worker is being somewhat hostile. And why your wife went out dancing the night of the office party.

God Doesn’t Blab

There’s a saying: Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

I’m sure that there are some completely discreet people in the world. I’ve never met one.

But if you tell God, it really won’t go any further.

So get it off your chest.

     “I’m angry. I don’t even know what I’m angry about, I’m just angry.”

     “I wish the co-worker who keeps trying to sabotage me would fall off a cliff—or at least go somewhere else.”

     “I hate my crooked nose. I pretend like I’m cool with it, but I hate it.”

     “Yes, I did ding that car and not leave a note.”

     “I want my kid to go to college, but I don’t want to pay a fortune for it. But if I suggest a less expensive school she might think I don’t have her best interests at heart.”

     “I like flirting with that cute guy at work, even though we’re both married.”

So yak away. No need to lie, and no worries about your confidences going any further. It’s quite freeing.

Mea Culpa, and Apologies to the Post-Dispatch

September 6, 2018

Well, nuts. I did write to the paper asking if nobody else had written in about the hypocritical archbishop, and they responded by directing me to a letter that they had printed on August 22^nd, written by someone who had stated my position, but more eloquently.

My apologies to the Post-Dispatch.

(This refers to the entry “A Strange Reticence”, posted September 5, 2018.)

A Strange Reticence

September 5, 2018

The archbishop of St. Louis is offering full cooperation into investigations of sexual abuse by priests. This is the same guy who impeded, stonewalled, and outright lied when he was in charge of investigating cases in Minnesota. More out of spite than from any real desire to do good, I sent a letter to the paper pointing this out.

It wasn’t a very impressive letter—two sentences, and a link to the Post-Dispatch’s own article from a few years ago. So I wasn’t surprised that the paper didn’t print it; what does surprise me is that they haven’t printed any others like it, either. I can’t be the only person who remembers this, and I would have bet that other people would write in to point out the complete turnaround in the archbishop’s behavior.

So what’s the deal, Post-Dispatch? Are you trying to keep things on an even keel, so that the archbishop will continue to cooperate? Or is the entire region suffering from collective amnesia?

September 6, 2018

Well, nuts. I did write to the paper, and they responded by directing me to a letter that they had printed on August 22^nd written by someone who had stated my position, but more eloquently.

My apologies to the Post-Dispatch.

Since blog updates aren’t e-mailed out like the regular posts, I’m going to put this in a separate post as well, to make sure that people who saw the incorrect post get this correction.