Reality Is Overrated

February 27, 2022

 

Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt says that Vladimir Putin should be held responsible for the attack on Ukraine.

Schmitt also says that, “This invasion would never have occurred under the strong leadership of President Trump, who held Russia in check for years.”

Donald Trump, however, says that Putin’s invasion strategy is “genius”. It doesn’t sound too much like he would have tried to stop the invasion.

 

Bur I’m sure AG Schmitt will find a way to make his version work. 

Driving While Politicking

February 26, 2022

 

There was a measure before the St. Louis Board of Aldermen to ban meeting by videoconference while driving. Seemed reasonable to me, but apparently I’m not as deep a thinker as some of the aldermen.

Some members said it was a common-sense safety measure; some members said it was a way to take away an alderman’s right to vote. While most (but not all) White members voted to ban videoconferencing while driving, most (but not all) Black members voted to allow it, saying that the measure was racist, because it targeted Black members with families “who don’t just sit at home all day.” (That’s where the deep thinking comes in: Safety is now a conspiracy theory.)

Question: Before videoconferencing, did you not have to schedule time for these board meetings? Presumably, you weren’t driving your family around then, you were at the meeting. So what’s different now?

 

I vote that they start meeting in person again, before somebody gets clobbered by a distracted alderman who is supposedly looking out for the citizens of St. Louis.

Cyber Magic

 February 22, 2022

You know how magicians will distract with one hand so that you don't see how they're working their magic with the other one? You know, give 'em the ol' razzle dazzle.

While Russia is conspicuously massing troops at the Ukrainian border, I wondered if there was something going on elsewhere that we should be noticing. I couldn't think of where it would be, though.

One of my friends may have provided a clue. She said, "I think that the next war will be a cyber-war."

So, now would be a great time for companies, governments, and utilities to make sure that their cyber security is as strong as it can be.

Art Imitates Physics

 February 20, 2022

In yet another fascinating talk on NPR, I heard a physicist point out the mathematical correlations between crocheting and the hyperbolic plane.

 

Don’t ask me to define hyperbolic space; just be impressed that all that crocheting you do is mathematically significant.

 

 

A Reason for all that Wordiness?

 

February 20, 2022

 

I just heard a talk on NPR about how, back in the 1990’s, a mathematician found certain predictions in Genesis in the Hebrew version of the Torah; and how an American used the Bible to write a book saying that the Bible also predicted stuff; and how, after years of trying to find flaws in the mathematician’s methods, a team did the same sort of statistical analysis of the Hebrew edition of War and Peace and found the same sorts of predictions. They used it to cry foul, although some attributed the mathematician’s conclusions to wishful thinking, rather than to deliberate chicanery.

Of course, the fact that they found the same phenomenon in War and Peace as in the Bible made me think of Van Gogh, and how so many of his paintings include representations of the Earth’s magnetic fields. Who knows, maybe long-winded authors are tapping into some sort of psychic flow as well.

 

That would teach me to stop being so snotty about wordiness, huh?

 

 

A Sensible Decision

February 17, 2022

 

In a stark contrast to Baptism-gate (see “In the Spirit of the Occasion,” Feb 17, 2022) , I read about a decision that didn’t make me gnash my teeth this morning.

It seems that a woman who was working remotely at home during the pandemic moved from Missouri to New York, where she continued to work remotely.

However, a week after she moved, she was fired; and the Missouri Labor and Industrial Relations Committee ruled that she was ineligible for unemployment.

When she appealed the decision, a company official testified that her work was satisfactory, and that she wasn’t violating any rule by working from New York.

And the court said that she was eligible for unemployment.

 

It’s astonishing how good that makes me feel. 

Is It Murder Murder?

 

February 17, 2022

 

A murder of crows (bird-speak for a flock) has been around the federal courthouse in St. Louis for months. According to the paper, things have gotten very messy.

Attempts to make the crows move on have failed, but now they are dying—several each day. Some sort of toxin is suspected.

 

Is someone committing murder murder?

She Should Talk with Bob Baffert

February 17, 2022

 

The Russian Olympic skater accused of doping says that her grandfather’s medication entered her system, and that’s why she tested positive.

As an excuse, it is somewhat less compelling than Bob Baffert’s contention that drugs entered his horse’s system when the horse ate urine-soaked hay that was contaminated with drugs from a human’s waste.

 

Maybe they should both step up their storytelling games. 

The Spirit of the Occasion

February 15, 2022

 

Here’s a new one: A priest who has performed hundreds of baptisms was told that they were all invalid because he said, “We baptize you…” (heaven knows why), instead of “I baptize you…”. The rule is that you can’t change a single word or the baptism isn’t valid. 

An invalid baptism??? I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard anything so stupid; and believe me, there’s been lots of competition lately.

 

Aaandd—It looks like, once again, people are confusing the ritual with the intent of the sacrament. Jesus, who said, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath,” would probably have something to say about the situation. (Like, "John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit." No mumbo-jumbo required.)

 

If He has any hair left, He’s probably tearing it out right about now.

February 16, 2022

 

Oh, my word! I just read that if a baptism is considered invalid, so are the subsequent sacraments of confirmation and Eucharist. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any stupider.

 

Reading further, the article says that marriages may (or may not be) considered invalid, too. That’s treading on some dangerous ground!

I really hope that nobody twists themselves up over this. Putting marriages in question is beyond insane. Say it with me: Enough is enough.

 

 

Saved by the Game

February 12, 2022

 

A woman called police in another town to check on her 80-year-old mother. When police arrived, they found that she had been held hostage for over 20 hours by an armed intruder, who had locked her in her basement.

 

The reason they were called? The daughter got worried when her mother didn’t send a daily text announcing her score for the game Wordle.

 

  

Have You Looked at Their Phones?

February 9, 2022

 

An editorial in the Post-Dispatch questioned the efficacy of banning books in schools,

 

When most kids can look up much worse things right on their phones.

  

How Badly Do You Need That Junk Mail?

February 11, 2022

 

We had one of those winter storms where the roads are very dangerous, and people are warned to stay off them.

I was shocked that someone wrote in to the paper complaining that their mail hadn’t been delivered. I personally applauded the mail carriers for having good sense.

Then I saw another letter the next day complaining about mail delivery not happening.

I can’t think of anything so important that a mail carrier needs to risk his or her life to deliver it.

 

If you can’t have compassion, at least have some common sense.

 

  

Substance Over Style

February 13, 2022

 

I read an article today about how Anheuser-Busch (Budweiser) is pulling out all the stops to make great Superbowl commercials. Apparently, it hasn’t topped the USA Today Ad Meter for 6 years.

The article goes on to say that A-B revenues are flat, and that they really need their ads to score big.

 

Here’s something I wrote back in 1998 (before I had ever heard the word “blog”):

When will Superbowl advertisers realize that, in spite of the fabulous sums they spend, nobody will actually switch to Bud; and no matter how much she enjoys the commercials, my sister-in-law will never drink Pepsi?* 

 

Prescience or common sense?

*My sister-in-law loved the singing mosquito in the Pepsi commercial.

 

  

Are They Using SPF-150?

February 10, 2022

 

I read an article that said that Vitamin D may help lessen the effects of COVID.

 

I’d be delighted if that turned out to be true. But, looking at Florida, where so many cases have been, I have to question it.

 

To be fair, the researchers’ point is that a Vitamin-D deficiency can exacerbate other conditions, leading to a weakened immune system. But still…

Conservation of Matter

February 13, 2022

 

Since space debris is becoming such a problem, a company is experimenting with a way to push space junk into the atmosphere to burn up.

 

Some people seem to think it’s a fine solution; but, conservation of matter being what it is, what’s getting left in the atmosphere for us to deal with somewhere down the line?

  

Watching Perfection

February 10, 2022

 

Many years ago, I was watching an ice dancing competition, and was amazed at how well the couples skated together. It was the first time I’d really watched the sport, so I didn’t know anything but that they looked good doing their thing.

 

Then I saw Torvill and Dean do an exhibition skate (it was later in their careers), and suddenly everybody else seemed just a little off.

 

The other night I was watching Olympic snowboarding, and was dazzled by the skateboarders.

 

Then I saw the Kaishu Hirano do his run, and suddenly the other boarders’ runs looked workmanlike (even though they were actually very impressive). It reminded me of Torvill and Dean.

 

Then I saw Ayumu Hirano do his run, and got the feeling all over again.

 

Sometimes, even when you don’t know anything about what you’re watching, you know you’ve seen perfection. 

Holy Moron, Batman!

February 13, 2022

 

After I posted “Thoughts and Prayers Redux” (Jan 9, 2022), I told myself that if the elders didn’t reinstate the mask mandate, the blog post after I learned their decision would be titled, “Holy Moron, Batman!” But they weren’t meeting right away, and then I forgot.

 

But here we are.

(Note to elders and pastors at this church: If your kids ever ask for help with their science projects, please refer them to other people.

If you insist on helping them yourselves, try to remember: The Earth is round; it goes around the Sun; and you don’t cure snakebite by holding up a bronze serpent.)

Alexa, What Was I Saying?

 

February 12, 2022

 

My daughter said, “What was that present we were thinking of getting Dad for his birthday? I didn’t write it down, and now I can’t remember.”

 

I told her that if we had Alexa, Amazon would have already sent us a link to 3 different types of whatever- it-was to choose from.

 

No Class

February 3, 2022

 

At the beginning of Black History month, several historically Black colleges around the country received bomb threats.

 

I don’t even know what to say about that.

  

A Pox on this Plaguey Legislature!

February 3, 2022

Missouri lawmakers wouldn’t approve the appointment of a guy to be state health director, on the grounds that he favored masks mandates and vaccine requirements. That dastard! Doesn’t he know that his job isn’t to protect the health of Missouri citizens, it’s to kowtow to the anti-science fanatics?

 

Actually, he doesn’t believe in mandates; but he does encourage people to wear masks and get vaccinated. I guess that’s enough to get him on the wrong side of our willfully ignorant legislators.

 

 

  

Confusion by the Numbers

February 5, 2022


Confused by the employment and unemployment statistics you’ve been hearing?

So are they.

February 2, 2022

Companies unexpectedly cut 301,000 jobs in January as omicron slams labor market, ADP says

The pandemic-sensitive leisure and hospitality industry was the hardest hit, losing 154,000 jobs.

cnbc.com




February 4, 2022

Payrolls show surprisingly powerful gain of 467,000 in January despite omicron surge

Leisure and hospitality led the gains, while professional and business services and retail also posted big numbers.

cnbc.com





February 4, 2022

The Experts Expected A Bad Jobs Report But Instead 467,000 Jobs Were Added In January—The Discrepancy Raises Some Skepticism

forbes.com

Idle Brains Are the Devil's Playground

February 3, 2022

 

Some Missouri lawmakers are pushing for a bill that says that anybody who uses force against somebody else must be presumed to have reasonably done it in self-defense. It’s not going over well with law enforcement officials.

 

The bill is aptly named 666.

 

  

Cultural Exchange

January 15, 2022

 

I asked somebody in New South Wales if his area had been affected by the Tonga volcano. He said no, and asked me whether we were suffering from a polar vortex. I said that they were getting hammered up north, but here in Missouri we were living the life of Riley. Then I had to explain what it meant.

 

He replied, “Ah. In Australia, we’d say, ‘Nah, mate, we’re Mickey Mouse.’”