Best Use of the Mute Button—Acceptance Speeches

September 25, 2012

I think that the Emmys, Oscars, etc. should tack on another award: Shortest Acceptance Speech.

I can see first-timers being overcome by the moment and wanting to thank families and the support staff of the show; but even seasoned winners go on and on.

And these days there’s an alternative: “Thank you to the Academy, my family, and those who worked with me on the show. For the full list of people I feel grateful to, see my website, or follow me on Twitter.”

 

A New Take on the Christmas Rant

September 18, 2012

The Meridian school district chopped 3 days off Christmas break this year—I guess they’re trying to make up for having such a short year last year (although those lesson plans have come and gone, folks—it’s not like you can actually get the time back). At least one person is taking it very ill. She wrote a letter to the paper, from which I quote:

Have you heard Meridian Joint School District No. 2 doesn’t plan to provide a single vacation day before Christmas Eve this year? Not a single day for shopping with family for loved ones. Not a single day for baking cookies and sweets for neighbors. Not a single day’s vacation for any special Christmas preparations or longstanding family traditions. Has some radical anti-Christmas zealotry taken hold within the district office? Are they trying to depress the economy by limiting Christmas sales and limit the time available for district patrons to enjoy Christmas shopping? Are they trying to depress spirits by limiting their patrons’ time for Christmas caroling and holiday community service?

It goes on. But here’s the thing: the kids go through Friday, Dec. 21^st. That leaves them, if I’m not mistaken, the night of the 21^st for caroling and the 22^nd and the 23^rd to shop, bake, etc. before Christmas Eve. In 2011 the schools went through Dec. 20^th, and in 2010 they got the 20^th and 21^st off—adding a whopping total of two days, maximum, for their carousing. I think I actually remember going through Dec. 23^rd one year in high school. So it’s disappointing, but hardly a conspiracy.

And as for depressing the economy: call me old-fashioned, but I was under the impression that the kids were at the age where receiving, not giving, is the order of the day; and nobody’s stopping their parents and grandparents from shopping.

On the plus side, due no doubt to her concern for the economy, the writer didn’t gripe that Christmas has become too commercial and that everyone is missing the reason for the season. That’s a refreshing change.

Please Shut Up

September 17, 2012

Melissa Jenkins wants to get out of jail.

This is the woman who is in prison because she connived at torturing her 8-year-old son. But she said she didn’t know it would lead to his death.

This is the woman who, after helping dump her son’s body in an irrigation canal, told the police and reporters that her son was missing, and got 2,000 volunteers to look for him.

This is the same woman who said that she was actually enjoying prison; that with the food and the rec time, it was “fun.”

Now she’s saying that her lawyers didn’t do a good enough job at her trial.

Melissa—please shut up.