The Dilemna Dilemma

September 29, 2019

At last, there’s one thing I can cross off my “Am I Crazy?” list!

See, the first time I saw the word “Dilemma”, several years ago, I thought it was a misprint, because I remembered spelling it “Dilemna.” I even remember pronouncing it “dilem-na” the first time I saw it. But ever since I saw that first “Dilemma”, that’s ALL I’ve been able to find. I even looked it up online, and only saw it with two “m”s.

BUT: Yesterday, I looked it up again. And danged if I didn’t find other people who say the same thing. Apparently, when we were growing up, we learned it with an “n” instead of the second “m”.

Seriously, it’s a huge relief. Much easier to believe than my theory that somehow I was in an alternate universe when I learned to spell it.

Get ’Em While You Can

September 12, 2019

You know how people go “Blizzard Buying” when they hear there’s a snowstorm on the way? They mob the stores for water, toilet paper and other necessities.

I wonder if anybody is “Tariff Buying” right now.

Taxing My Patience

September 15, 2019

Although reluctant to take on the issue of gun violence, Missouri Governor Mike Parson was so perturbed that citizens trading in their cars and boats might not be getting full credit for their sales tax that he called a Special Session of the legislature to deal with the issue.

Nice to know he’s got his priorities straight.

Government Inaction

September 15, 2019

Concerned citizens are hoping that the Missouri legislature will try to find ways to deal with the high number of homicides, including a record number of children’s deaths this year, due to gun violence.

In response,

The senate president has convened a working group to investigate whether they should form a special committee on gun violence.

Wondering how many more steps they can create in order to avoid dealing with the problem just boggles my mind.

The REAL Mystery Is...

September 11, 2019

I watch a lot of PBS mysteries. I’ve decided that they could really reduce the body count if, after the first murder in a village, the detectives would post notices saying, “There is a murderer at large. Do not open your door without checking to see who’s there. Do not agree to meet mysterious callers in out-of-the-way places in the dead of night. Suspend all blackmailing operations so that the killer doesn’t decide to get rid of you, too.” Etc.

The real mystery is why the villagers don’t think of this themselves.

Move Over, Elmo, Popeyes is Here

September 4, 2019

It’s like the Tickle Me Elmo craze of 1996—but worse.

When a group of customers in Houston was told at a Popeyes drive-through that the restaurant was out of the new chicken sandwiches, the customers charged the door with a gun.

Fortunately, a restaurant employee was able to lock out the enraged customers, who still have not been apprehended.

If I might editorialize—Get a grip.

The Secret Weapon in the Library

September 4, 2019

A pastor at a Catholic school in Nashville has banned the Harry Potter books from the school library because he’s afraid that students will inadvertently conjure evil spirits or cast other spells.

The Rev. Dan Reehill said that he consulted exorcists in the U.S. and in Rome, and that the curses used in the book are actual curses and spells.

So, if you’re really annoyed at somebody, grab a Harry Potter book. I doubt that it will do you much good, curse-wise, but they are funny enough to put you in a good mood.