November 6, 2015
I have a hard time getting people to say, “No.”
“Really?” you say. “Tough problem!”
But seriously, here are just a few of the questions people haven’t
responded to in the past:
·
Do
you do alterations?
·
Would
you like to come downtown with my friends and me?
·
Can
you click on this link and see if it allows people besides me to edit it?
·
We’re
hosting Thanksgiving. Can you and your family come?
People simply ignore the questions—even when they’re part of
a longer e-mail exchange (so they can’t pretend they didn’t get the message). In
all these cases, a simple sentence will suffice: “No.” If you want to spiff it
up or soften the answer, “No, thanks for asking.”
I wonder if people don’t respond because they’re afraid they’ll
hurt my feelings (they won’t), or because they’re used to other people badgering
them if they say no. (I won’t.) Or if they think that
they have to give reasons, and can’t think of something that doesn’t sound
totally lame.
It’s not necessary to give reasons. You don’t have to tell
the truth: “I’d rather have bamboo slivers inserted under my fingernails than hang
out with you and your friends.” Or, “Too much family at Thanksgiving gives me
indigestion.” You don’t have to lie: “Sorry, that’s the ONLY night I can wash
my dog!” You don’t owe people explanations—but you do owe them the courtesy of
a response.
So, right in time for the holidays, here is your quick
How-to Guide on avoiding things you don’t want to do:
Just. Say. No.
