Advertising Jesus

 

April 14, 2026

 

The pastor on my radio Bible study was giving an example of being enthusiastic about religion. He concluded the story with something like, “I realized that my grandson was more excited about Iron Man than I was about Jesus.

 

“Do you think maybe we should re-think our advertising?”

 

Of course, I started pondering ad campaigns for Jesus. When I flipped the radio dial, Cyndi Lauper’s song came on with the chorus,

 

“If you’re lost, you can look, and you will find me,

  Time after time,

“If you fall I will catch you and be waiting,

“Time after time.”

 

Bingo!

 

Whole Lotta Airbrushin' Going On?

 

March 22, 2025

 

I was scrolling on my homepage when I saw an ad for shorts that are “Long enough for 67-year-old legs”. The picture shows shorts that are knee-length, stopping just above the knee, which is great—but they were on 20-something legs. Either that, or there was some serious airbrushing—but you could tell that that wasn’t the case.

 

There’s nothing wrong with younger women wearing the shorts—but if you want to make your case convincing, show the shorts on 67-year-old legs—you know, the ones with the dry, wrinkly knees.

 

 

 

The Ads We've Never Seen

 

October 22, 2024

 

The most recent run on toilet paper (due to the dockworkers’ strike) got me thinking about some missed marketing opportunities on the part of the TP companies. Why have we never seen these ads?

 

“Charmin: The most hoarded toilet paper in the country.”

 

Or, from a less-plush competitor:

“You can always count on Brand X to be on the shelves, because nobody hoards our toilet paper. Nobody.”