Stop the Steal

 

July 29, 2026

 

I mentioned before that cutting off President Trump’s funding for frivolities might be the only way to get his attention and end the Iran war. I specified his Arch, but there’s also his ballroom, his Kennedy Center name change, the military parades and other self-aggrandizing moves that are costing the U.S. millions.

 

Now he wants a sign in front of the Smithsonian, warning of “inaccurate” history.

 

Setting aside the legality of lying about the exhibits, those installations aren’t cheap.

 

I’m serious. Congress should say, “No more spending on crap, Mr. President. We have a country to run while you’re trying to bankrupt it.” (I would mention the citizens, who are negatively affected in their everyday lives, but Congress hasn’t demonstrated too much concern, so that idea is a non-starter.)

 

Tighten his belt, Congress.

 

 

How to End the Iran War

 

July 20, 2026

 

Mr. President:

 

At this time, we are unable to approve allocation of funds to build your arch, due to the cost of the conflict with Iran.

 

Congress

 

Environmental Impact

 

June 16, 2026

 

Members of the Republican Party who haven’t previously concerned themselves with bolstering the EPA’s efforts to keep our water safe, have now rallied to the cause. (FYI, I didn’t put a comma between “party” and “who”, because that would have implied that all members of the party are unconcerned with clean water, which isn’t true.)

 

“Great news!” you say. “What are they protecting us from? Coal ash? Industrial waste?”

 

Bzzzt! Thanks for playing.

 

No, these protectors-come-lately are trying to ban Mifepristone, a substance which has no known adverse effect on the environment, but which goes against their personal beliefs, as it is used to cause abortions.

 

Who knows? While they’re dealing with this non-threat, maybe they’ll be flexing their Concern-for-the-Environment mental muscles. Maybe someday they’ll be led to take action on useful issues.