Suburban Blight

May 10, 2017

When I took walks in Idaho, I’d see ducklings, or California quail with their impossibly cute babies. In suburban St. Louis I see…shrubbery.

Lots of shrubbery. Big shrubbery. Shrubs that no doubt started out small and cute (the subdivision landscaper’s go-to move), but are growing unchecked in front of lots of houses.

Some people trim and shape the bushes, but nobody keeps them small. They just keep letting them get bigger, to the point where they’re not even decorative anymore. It looks like their houses are being swallowed by the things. I passed one house and said, “Get—a—chainsaw!”

No real reason to write this; I just think it’s time we stopped setting ourselves up to be the next sci-fi horror flick. (“The Shrubbery That Ate Suburbia.”)

The Next Fashion Fad

May 10, 2017

The other day I was on a long phone call. I’m an inveterate doodler when I’m on the phone, but there was no paper handy. Eventually I noticed I was doodling on my jeans! (Fortunately they were the paint-spattered ones I keep for home projects.)

Then I thought: Ripped jeans, muddy jeans…Why not Doodle Jeans? Maybe I can start a new craze.

Let me see if I can get Nordstrom’s on the line…

Two Is Better Than One?

May 6, 2017

Developers want to install a 90-foot Ferris wheel on Delmar Boulevard in St. Louis. Because Delmar’s not crowded enough already.

And because the 200-foot wheel planned for Union Station isn’t enough for one city? 


July 8, 2017

The neighborhood voted down the Ferris wheel on Delmar. Traffic problems and aesthetics were two of the reasons cited. I’m glad good sense prevailed in this case.

Slow Learners

May 6, 2017

Penn State officials are shocked, saddened and dismayed at the death of a student as a result of a fraternity hazing. Hazing deaths are so rare and unexpected…

Seriously, this death was so horrific that it boggles the mind. When are colleges going to realize once and for all that turning a blind eye to fraternity excesses will not end well?

But Penn State is cracking down: New rules involve a ban on liquor, kegs, and daylong parties.

In addition, only ten Greek parties with alcohol are allowed per semester instead of 45.

Ummm…

A Golden Opportunity

May 7, 2017

Nordstrom’s is selling jeans with fake mud for $425.

Neiman Marcus is selling beat-up sneakers for $1,425.

I’m going to have a garage sale and put the ratty stuff in a special Designer Section.

Is There a (Spin) Doctor in the House?

May 3, 2017

St. Louis is getting pretty famous for its gun violence, but this incident was unusual enough to grab everyone’s attention: a woman watching a ball game at Busch stadium was grazed by a bullet fired outside the stadium.

Not to worry: Police think it was just somebody firing into the air, no malice intended.

I can see the tourism board scrambling to deal with this one:

St. Louis—Loaded with Fun!

What's In a Name?

May 3, 2017

Not much, apparently.

Lots of schools are closed in the St. Louis area because of flooding—including a preschool called Noah’s Ark.