August 29, 2018
It’s Back-to-School Time. That means it’s Potential Dating
Time, with all the pitfalls that entails. Here’s some good advice that I didn’t
think of, but am passing on.
In Faking It, Jennifer Crusie gives an
excellent synopsis of why hiding your light under a bushel in order to catch or
keep a guy is a very bad idea.
A middle-school girl asks her uncle if she should give up softball, which
she likes and is good at, in order to attract the boy she likes. Her
friend has warned her that boys feel threatened by girls being better at something than they
are.
Her uncle says that boys will come and go, but softball is a
big part of her, and will be forever. He gives her some tips on how to make
inroads with the guy; but he says she should never give up softball
just to make a guy feel better. If a guy were to ask her to do that, he’d be a
loser. (She keeps up with softball, and the kid likes her just fine.)
In short: Find a guy who respects you and your abilities.
You don’t need a guy who is scared off by what you can do.
OK, this part is from me: You also don’t need a guy who thinks
that what you can do doesn’t matter (eg. “I’m in engineering; she’s just an
English major.”). Anybody who refers to you as “just” anything should be kicked
to the curb without further ado.
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