Keep Calm, Don't Carry On

June 27, 2016

A boy fell into a gorilla enclosure at a zoo. A gorilla went to pick him up, but eventually started dragging him around, and keepers were afraid that he’d hurt the boy; so they shot him.

Naturally, people started pointing fingers: The mother was to blame, the zoo was to blame, blah, blah, blah.

Nobody thought much of my idea: That if the onlookers had controlled themselves instead of continuously yelling, the gorilla might not have gotten so agitated, and the keepers would have been able to retrieve the boy safely. It seemed to me like the gorilla started out to help the boy, but then in the ensuing mayhem, he got confused and agitated, leading to his stress reaction and the child’s danger.

So maybe I’m wrong; but maybe next time something like this happens, people could try to overcome their (perfectly natural, I admit) tendency to yell and/or jump around, which will only exacerbate the situation.

Keep calm, don’t carry on.

Why Don't We Ever See Fat Ants?

June 26, 2016

The title is pretty much the whole entry. Certain types of ants swarm to sugary foods, but they don’t get fat. Are any scientists studying how the ants metabolize the sugar so that they don't get fat? As a dyed-in-the-wool sugar lover, I think the question merits some research.

I looked it up (a little) and saw articles online about why ants don’t get killed in the microwave (does the author also pull wings off flies?), and asking why, if margarine is healthier than butter, ants won’t eat it (Good question); but not why ants don’t get fat from all the sugar.

Somebody needs to look into this.

A Job Priority

June 20, 2016

An article by Vick Amsinger in the June 5, 2016 St. Louis Post Dispatch argues that the people who are concerned with the entire organization and create the capacity to take on more work are the most appreciated/promoted.

When I say “take on more work”, I don’t mean that they add more to their days. The author sensibly suggests ways to cut down on tasks (or distractions like social media) that employees don’t need to be performing, so that they can take on the new tasks and still get out of work on time.

I like her approach. I just have one caveat.

Since most of my readers are personally known to me, I know that they all give it all they’ve got on the job. They are concerned with the entire organization. And you know which ones get valued/promoted?

The best schmoozers.

Look around at any business, from retail to education to Wall Street, and you’ll find out it’s true.

When I say, “Schmooze,” I don’t mean, “Bring coffee” or “Be a Yes-Person.” I mean, find common ground. Even if your personalities are completely different, and you don’t like any of the same movies or leisure activities, you can turn that into a way to (nicely) find complementary angles on any discussion.

Don’t take it for granted that just because you are excellent at your job, you’ll be appreciated, or that you’ll be promoted over the worthless charmer. I’m sorry to say that that rarely happens. Look at it this way: If you’re going to promote somebody to your level, where you’ll have more interaction with them, you’ll want it to be somebody you’re familiar with, that you’re more comfortable with—someone that you actually know. Right? So that’s what happens.

So add one more task to your day: Schmooze.

He Finally Got to Practice What He Preached

June 1, 2016

At the age of 96 Henry Heimlich, the inventor of the Heimlich maneuver, finally used it for the first time. A woman at the senior living center where he lives was choking, and he performed the maneuver on her.

Good news: It worked.

For the June Brides (and all the Others)

May 27, 2016

Congratulations on beginning your life together. While I’m sure that you’ll have many happy years together, sometimes you’ll hit a bump in the road.

When things get a little dicey, know that you’re not alone. Here are some of my favorite quotes about marriage:

(Hester Christie is looking for a birthday present for her husband.)

“…Spend a long time examining dressing gowns for Tim’s birthday present. [A young man in the Men’s Department helps, and they finally find one. …The] Young man says if my husband would prefer a different colour he is at liberty to change it, which confirms me in my belief that he has had long experience in the Men’s Department…”

Tim is having trouble with an officer in his regiment, and asks Hester for ideas on how to handle it.

 “…Suggest tentatively that we might ask the democratic officer to dinner, and Tim make a few tactful suggestions to him over a glass of port. Tim is very scornful of my solitary idea. …

“[The next morning] Tim comes down to breakfast whistling cheerfully and announces that he has been considering the matter…and that there is only one thing to be done… Tim’s idea is to ask young Weir out to dinner some night…and Tim will have a talk with him over a glass of port and put it to him in a tactful way…

“Reply that I am glad he has thought of such a good way out of his troubles.”

From Mrs. Tim Christie, by D. E. Stevenson

(Lord love her! She didn’t brain him—and has been a role model for me ever since.)

Patricia Anne is going away on Monday for a week with the girls, leaving her husband at home.

“…We are apart so seldom that by Sunday night we were already missing each other. … The funny thing is that once we say goodbye, I have this great feeling of freedom. Go figure.”

From Murder Makes Waves, by Anne George

Patricia Anne’s niece has just eloped. She and her new husband don’t think that they can live together, so they’re going to have adjoining condos. Her other niece says that she hopes that the wall will come down soon, because she wouldn’t want her husband living next door.

“We were both quiet for a moment, thinking. Then we burst out laughing. There’s not a woman alive who wouldn’t move her husband out sometimes. Just next door.”

From Murder Boogies with Elvis, by Anne George

So keep it in perspective; keep your sense of humor; and enjoy your marriage.

Self-Importance

May 16, 2016

The House Committee on Oversight and Reform is tackling TSA delays, and the problems they are causing for passengers. John Mica, of Florida, was disgusted because three associates missed their flight after arriving late and being further delayed by security lines.

“You can’t get a hold of a damned person at TSA, even as a member of Congress,” Mica shouted.

I may be being unkind here, but my takeaway from this comment is that Rep. Mica was upset because his late-arriving associates couldn’t use their Congressional clout to cut in line.

Shucks!

How Can You Tell?

May 15, 2016

Re: Laws regarding which bathroom people use:

How can you tell if a transgender person is in your bathroom? Even men’s room have stalls with doors. So how do you know? Is someone going to do a spot-check?