Guide to the Holidays

November 1, 2018

OK, Halloween is over, and you know what that means—It’s time for the Holiday Entertaining Guide.

Just recapping some holiday tips we’ve had here.

-Put out a new roll of toilet paper before the party. Your guests don’t want to have to hunt for it.

-Never assign bringing appetizers to the chronically late person.

-Don’t wait dinner for the chronically late person. Your other guests deserve hot food—and they were courteous enough to show up on time.

-Shop for gifts in the morning, not in the afternoon when everybody else is taking off work and clogging up the stores.

-My favorite gift-wrap method: Let somebody else do it.

-Don’t spend more than you can afford on presents, even if you have a spending over-achiever in the crowd. Get the best Christmas socks $2 can buy, and hand them out every year, if that’s all you can afford.

-Books are excellent stocking-stuffers, even if they don’t fit in the stockings. And the library usually has paperbacks in good condition that they sell for 50 cents.

-Pastors: Don’t wait until Christmas Eve to preach on the evils of using the Christmas season as merely a gift-giving/receiving season. It’s too late. Also, keep the Christmas Eve and Christmas sermons SHORT.

-All you people and groups who ask for extra money during the holidays: Stop It.

-I like Christmas baking, but I also like cutting out pictures of beautifully decorated cakes and candies from the catalogs that start flooding the mailbox at this time. They’re way prettier than what I can make, and I save a bundle on calories by looking and not eating.

-Most important: Grab your favorite movie, sit back, and enjoy the season.