Maybe They Can Tour the COVID Testing Sites

July 29, 2020

Governor Mike Parson wants Missouri counties to pick up more of the cost of COVID testing and contact tracing.

Maybe he should give back the $15,000,000 of federal COVID relief funding that he hijacked to promote tourism.

Let me be clear: Tourism to a state where the number of cases is rising. Tourism to a state whose residents are being barred from travel to some states, or who have to quarantine for two weeks when they travel to some other states. I just don’t see the masses flocking to take advantage of our amenities in this situation.

It’s a non-starter, Gov. Put the money where it belongs.

Legislature, do your job—stick up for the people of your state. Block this nonsense, and take care of your citizens.

Another “Studies Show...” to Think About

July 28, 2020

In 2011, and in 2014, and at other times, I’ve mentioned that “studies show” is not always an accurate indicator of what’s actually true. It applies to dietary choices, exercise styles, and economic predictions.

People who are trying to stay healthy will duly adjust their lifestyles according to the latest study, only to find out later that they were suckered again.

The latest flip-flop is on mask-wearing: Won’t help, can’t hurt, definitely helps…

Some people use the inconsistency to say, “See, they don’t know what they’re talking about! I’ll just wait until they get it right.”

If you slavishly take 10,000 steps (anything over 5,000 is fine), don’t eat butter, eggs, or full-fat dairy (also currently not demonized as health hazards), went from full-on aerobics to mini-routines to sweating for 30 minutes, all because that’s what the latest theory was (soon pushed aside in favor of something else)…

You should give masks a chance, too.

(Remember: It’s not about you this time, it’s about keeping other people from getting sick. Do unto others…)

Past and Future

July 27, 2020

I watched the movie “Ship of Fools”, based on the book by Katherine Anne Porter, over the weekend. It was about people who, despite all the warning signs, refused to believe that they were rushing headlong over a cliff.

Despite the fact that the story was based on incidents in the past, it was eerily similar to things that are happening right now.

It’s well worth a read or a look.

Net Weight

July 27, 2020


I successfully resisted the urge to bake chocolate-filled white cupcakes, because we have no way of getting rid of them quickly except by eating them all ourselves; and I’m not getting nearly enough exercise to make that feasible.

I stand by my assertion that I should lose five pounds every time I resist temptation. 


That way I could break even when I eat the blackberry cobbler.

Cragslist Will Be Booming

July 27, 2020

When the first lockdowns went into place, people started buying pets. Theoretically, it was because they’d have time to train them while they were home. But I got the feeling that, like chicks at Easter, the pets were supposed to be entertainment while people were confined. And I wondered what would happen when people went back to work, and the pets were left alone all day.

This morning I read that people are buying boats so they can take mini-vacations on the water—explore uninhabited islands, go mask-free, and be outdoors exploring instead of stuck inside.

Same question: What happens after the pandemic? Boats need upkeep and repair, which cost a bundle, on top of the cost of buying a boat. So what will happen to the boats when they’re no longer wanted?

I see a lot of Craigslist ads coming up. Maybe not soon, but someday.

"A Simple Desultory Philippic" Still Resonates

July 25, 2020

Back in 1966, Simon and Garfunkel recorded “A Simple Desultory Philippic (or How I was Robert McNamara’d into Submission)” on their Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme album. It was a joking song that referenced a lot of players on the public stage at the time.

But it’s weird how the people referenced keep popping up even today.

When I saw the 2017 movie “The Post” (about the Pentagon Papers), and Robert McNamara came on screen, the song started going through my head, and pretty much stayed there throughout the movie.

Now I’m watching “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”, and there’s Lenny Bruce, large as life. And I attended an Andy Warhol retrospective last year.

When things were going sideways at work, a co-worker and I used to look at each other and chorus, “I’ve lost my harmonica, Albert.”

I still say that.

Yep, that little ditty really holds up.

Did People Really Talk Like That?

July 25, 2020

I love the show “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”.

But I have to wonder:

Did people really talk like that in everyday conversation in the 1950’s? Even a waitress in a diner yells the F-word out loud when the place is full of customers.

Makes it hard to see why Lenny Bruce got in trouble so often.

So are the Maisel writers taking liberties with the language? Or did the rest of the world take a while to catch up to New York?

He Must Not Have Read the Letter

July 25, 2020

Governor Mike Parson is using $15 million of federal coronavirus relief money to promote tourism.

He could spend it on medical care for virus sufferers, or on medical equipment for those who care for them. He could spend it on education infrastructure to make sure that students can get a decent education while staying at home. But he’s promoting tourism. Great for the economy, no doubt.

However, on June 22, 2020 the Post-Dispatch printed a letter from a visitor from New York, who was shocked at the lack of mask-wearing in St. Louis. I doubt that he will be promoting Missouri as a tourist destination to his friends and family.

Apparently, the governor hadn’t read that letter.

So I sent him a copy.

Most Puzzling Headline Spotted on Yahoo!

July 20, 2020


Chrissy Teigen Clapped Back at Conspiracy Theorists With Photos of Her Breast Implant Removal Surgery



So many questions, and yet, so little interest in finding out the answers.


 
Article by Caroline Goldstein on a site called "Hello Giggles"

Slow Cooking

June 14, 2020

My daughter is an excellent cook. I taught her the basics, but she can cook way better than I ever will.

I think that it’s partly because she takes her time. For me, cooking is something to be gotten through as quickly as possible. But she enjoys it; so she doesn’t stir the sauce briskly, or beat the heck out of stuff trying to get it done in as little time as possible. This can drive a hungry person crazy, but the result is always worth the wait.

I’m trying that, now that I have so much more time. It seems to work. I’m still not as good a cook as she is, but I think that taking the time to let the food cook slowly and come to fruition really makes a difference.

Commercials say that Love is the secret ingredient. Maybe. But Time helps, too.

A Tip of the Hat to Miss Fisher

July 18, 2020

I was introduced to the Miss Fisher TV series recently. It’s great that she solves all the mysteries; but what I primarily like are her hats.

I was always glad I grew up in the post-hat era. With no fashion sense to speak of, and not a lot of money to throw around, having to have one hat that would match different outfits, or having to buy a different hat for each outfit, would have made life a nightmare.

But I like her hats. They’re visual poetry. They make me wish that people—other people—still wore hats as a matter of course.

So, thanks for the touch of glamour, Phryne.

Oh, and nice work catching that killer.

He Was a Good Judge of Character

July 18, 2020


People who still don’t think that the pandemic is a real threat remind me of the parable of Lazarus and the Rich Man.

The rich man, who died and is now in torment, asks Abraham to send Lazarus to warn the rich man’s brothers not to live as he did, and end up where he did.

Abraham replies, “They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.”

“No, father Abraham,” says the rich man, “but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.”

Abraham says, “If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.”



Yep. Pretty much true. No matter what you do, some people will not be convinced.

Bucking the Trend

July 18, 2020

The Show-Me State is now the We-Won’t-Believe-It-Even-If-You-Show-Us State.

While other states are finally mandating masks, and trying to shift police tactics from force to other forms of interaction, Missouri governor Mike Parson is still refusing to mandate masks, and is asking for more tools to combat violence with force.

Because HE isn’t going to be swayed by other states’ experiences. No, sirree.

I hope his love for rugged individualism carries him far, far away from the Governor’s Mansion. (And not in the direction of D.C.)

Broaden Your Field of View

July 18, 2020

Why don't people who think that the pandemic is a creation of American news media in order to sway American politics

look at news from other countries?

Non-Foggy Bottom

July 17, 2020


I think that the new fashion in eyeware should be glasses with bottom rims that are flat, to minimize contact with the face mask, and hence reduce fogging.

Waivers, Lemming, and Responsibility (Part II)

July 17, 2020

When you were a kid, did your mother ever say to you, “If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it, too?”

If you’re like most of us, you probably answered cheekily, “Yes,” even as you knew you wouldn’t.

Well, now we know that people will. They’ll do things that they know are dangerous, just because they want to fit in. And I’m not talking about teens and twenty-somethings. I’m talking about people who are old enough to know better. (Another one of my mother’s phrases.)

Parents in a school district in the St. Louis area are angry because they are being asked to sign waivers of responsibility in case their children contract COVID-19 while participating in voluntary sports. They say that the school is endangering their children.

Folks, the kids are in danger whether you sign the waiver or not. They’re in danger because you’re letting them play sports during a pandemic. (Repeating a tip from a previous post: If an activity involves signing a COVID waiver, you probably shouldn’t do it. Or let your kids do it.)

If you didn’t allow your kids to play, the school wouldn’t be able to have the sports. It’s that simple.

So YOU take the responsibility for keeping your kids safe.

Waivers, Lemmings, and Responsibility (Part I)

July 17, 2020

The editors of the paper keep pointing out—correctly—that President Trump’s desire for in-person rallies and conventions put his supporters shockingly at risk, and demonstrates his complete indifference to the welfare of others—including his loyal supporters.

Furthermore, people who attend the rallies are required to sign waivers that they won’t hold the organizers or the Republican Party liable if they contract COVID-19. (Tip for those who haven’t been paying attention: If there’s a COVID waiver involved, you probably shouldn’t go.)

What the editors don’t say is: Nobody is twisting people’s arms to go and support their candidate. They have the same access to news as the rest of us; they’ve heard the warnings about wearing masks; and they’re choosing to go anyway.

So I’m not wasting much sympathy on them. I’m reserving it for the people they infect once they leave the rallies and go about their regular lives.

Why Sink "Sank"?

July 13, 2020

I have read an astonishing number of books lately in which the narrator says, “He sunk into his chair,” or the like. I cannot figure out why.

The past tense of “sink” is “sank.” I don’t know where this sudden affection for the word “sunk” came from, but it’s not correct when you’re using it as the past tense of “sink.”

So: When you’re telling your story, tell it correctly: “I sank into my chair…”

(I also notice writers saying, “I sprung out of my chair.” Same deal—sprang, not sprung.)

Dirty Dish Secrets

July 13, 2020

It’s no crime to leave dirty dishes in the sink. It may, however, be inconvenient if you have ants.

Sometimes, when people are in a hurry, they throw everything in the dishwasher to be sorted later, and that’s no crime either.

If you don’t have a dishwasher, or if you don’t like the toss-now, sort-later method, see if you can find a plastic tub with a lid that you can keep handy. Throw the dishes that can’t go in the dishwasher in the tub and put the lid on. That should hold the ants at bay.

Gentlemen, Start Your Excavators

July 13, 2020

I read an article on aging power grids being overtaxed by hotter summers. It made me think about how much cooler basements are than the rest of the house, and how some people are lucky enough to have finished basements. In a pinch, people could always throw some sleeping bags or cots down there on the hottest summer nights, as sleeping in the basement might be cooler than sleeping on higher levels.

Some areas aren’t suitable for building basements: they’re too swampy, or flood-prone, or built on bedrock; but other people might want to start thinking about using basements to keep cool.

Contractors, start advertising. And get those excavators fired up.

It Ain't Good, But It's A Reason

July 12, 2020

Most unusual reason for wishing the lockdown were over:

“So Mom could go somewhere else to watch opera.”

Summer Update

July 5, 2020

HAHAHAHA!!! As if anything is really happening!

OK, so I was out walking this morning. The first thing I saw when I walked out of my house was a hot-air balloon high above the tree outside my front door. I could hear the gas jets hiss as the balloonist made adjustments. So I looked at it for a few minutes, and waved at the balloonist just in case s/he could see me, and went on my way.

On my way home from the walk, a yellow bird zipped by me and came to rest in a nearby tree—very high up. I knew that there would be no point in going to get my binoculars, because birds ALWAYS fly away when you go for the binoculars; but it stayed there so long that I thought I'd take a chance. So I jogged home to get the binocs; and on my way out the door I could see that the balloon was still visible far away, so I trained the binoculars on it for a while, then went back to the tree. And the bird was still there! 

And the SECOND I aimed the binoculars at it, it flew away.

Birds are just like that.

I Should Have Checked My Horoscope First

July 5, 2020

Inspired by a long weekend, I decided to ramp up the summer treats by baking lemon-blueberry bread and making a lemon icebox pie.

Ironically, the bread was dry and the pie was runny. Maybe another time…

(They still tasted great, though.)

Just Tell Us the Relevant Parts

July 8, 2020

The church Missions Board invited a speaker to tell them about a project they’re considering raising funds for. The speaker was supposed to give us info on the organization, and talking points as to why it was worth the congregation’s while to support it.

First she spent 20 minutes giving us background on herself and how she came to lead the organization and improve it. I could have done without that; and, judging by the woman I saw looking at her watch, I wasn’t the only one.

Eventually, though, she cut to the chase and spent another 10 minutes on reasons that the cause was worth supporting.

She has a PhD in higher education, and seems to be a good administrator and fundraiser; I wondered how she’d missed the basic lesson of tailoring the speech to the audience.

I also wondered if she’d mind if I gave her gave her some tips on public speaking.

Tour an Art Gallery Online

July 6, 2020

Art St. Louis put a gallery show online. Since I miss going to art galleries, I enjoyed the tour. I’m attaching the link. It only lasts until July 15, 2020, but maybe they’ll do another online exhibit someday.

 Art. St. Louis "Life Interrupted" exhibit

It's Like Skeet-Shooting, but without the Gun

July 8, 2020

I got involved in birdwatching several years ago. It’s fascinating to look at a small, drab bird with the naked eye, and then see how many beautiful colors it has when you look at it with binoculars. And there are other benefits as well.

Birdwatching is a great way to sharpen your eye and train your reflexes. You get used to spotting anomalous bumps in the foliage; and when you see a bird start to fly, you can grab the binoculars and track it. It’s actually a pretty tricky maneuver, since the birds fly so fast.

It’s a lot like shooting: All of the thrill, but with none of the noise. And it’s a great way to keep your brain sharp.

Playing the Long Game

July 4, 2020

I keep wondering if VP Pence is going to move to declare the president unfit at the last possible minute that will allow him to be considered as a candidate in the president’s stead. Moderate Republicans would flock to him as their savior from the Evil Democrats.

For those of you not keeping track, VP Pence follows many of the same courses as the President regarding the environment, business interests, and religious rulings, which will make some people happy, and some people unhappy. So do your research. 

As the saying goes, don’t vote the party, vote the person.

Celebrate the U. S. on Independence Day

July 4, 2020

As we look around, we realize that there’s a lot in the U.S. that’s not going right these days.

However—We have the greatest right ever granted to a population: The right to try and change the wrongs. We can demonstrate; we can vote; we can express our views on social media, or on soapboxes without fear of being arrested and left to rot in jail with no trial—or without being taken from our homes and disappearing forever.

We are continually trying to improve conditions for workers, which is not the case in some parts of the world.

We can practice the religion of our choice, or not be forced to practice one at all.

The majority of us have clean water and breathable air, two things we take for granted because we don’t look around enough at places that don’t.

Yes, there’s a lot going wrong right now. But on Independence Day, let’s celebrate the things that are going right.

And tomorrow, keep working on changing the rest. Because we are allowed to.


July 26, 2020

OK, in Portland people are being taken off the streets in unmarked vans. We need to make sure that we stay America, folks.

Look Beyond the Algorithm

July 3, 2020

I collected a bunch of columns I’ve written, added some commentary, and wrote a handbook whose working title was CEO’ing for Dummies. (Obviously I can’t call it that for real, because the “for Dummies” is somebody else’s line; but it made a good working title.) Instead of CEO’s dispensing their wisdom to the masses, it was things that employees would like to tell CEO’s.

A friend was delighted with it, and suggested that I try to publish it. I looked up a publisher that seemed in line with the book’s focus, and answered a questionnaire.

In addition to questions about what the book was about, some of the questions were, “Have you ever appeared on TV?”(Yes, I have. Many times.) “What is your social media presence?”

Not, “Do you have a degree in writing?” (I don’t, so it’s probably just as well that they didn’t ask.) It seems like they’re trying to make sure you’re media-ready for the publicity tour before they’ve even read the book.

When Louisa May Alcott wrote Little Women, she dropped it off at the publisher’s office and left. Ditto with Harper Lee and To Kill a Mockingbird. Nobody asked if they’d been on TV or used Twitter. They just read the manuscript.

Ironically, one of the first columns I included in the handbook was a warning not to make decisions about winnowing prospective employees based on computer algorithms.

Maybe I should have put that in the questionnaire.

He Meant Well

July 2, 2020

Some grocery stores have implemented a checkout system of having people wait in one line and then directing them to whichever register is available. Department stores have been doing it for years, but people aren’t used to it in food stores.

As I was at the store today, we were all waiting in line to be directed to a register when a confused woman with several items in her cart started to cut in. The man ahead of me graciously said, “Go ahead, I’m in no hurry.” A look around might have tipped him off that some of the people in line behind him were.

But he meant well.

Where Has He Been Hanging Out?

July 2, 2020

St. Louis City and County are requiring that masks be worn in public at all times, starting tomorrow. The executive director of St. Charles County, MO said that he recommended wearing masks, but that he would leave it up to people to do the right thing.

From what I’ve seen, if he only hangs around the post office and the library, then his faith is well-placed; but if he goes to a barbecue joint or any store, he’s going to see that his fellow man is not living up to his expectations.

Hagar's Revenge

June 28, 2020


We’re back to Abraham, Sarah, Hagar and Ishmael in the readings at church. It occurred to me that things really did go full circle: Hagar, the Egyptian handmaiden, was forced to bear a child to Abraham. Later, she and the child got kicked out and would have died if not for the Lord’s intervention.

Abraham and Sarah’s great-grandson, Joseph, was bought by Ishmaelites—followers or relatives of Hagar's son Ishmael (so they were probably related to Joseph), and brought to Egypt. Eventually, the Egyptians enslaved the descendants of Abraham who were NOT descended from Hagar the Egyptian. 

So it looks like Hagar got the last laugh after all.