It's Only Demonic if You're Not Paying Us for It

November 25, 2018

The pastor of James River Church in Ozark, Missouri, has warned his congregation against practicing yoga, which he says has demonic roots. The Assembly of God church has about 10,000 members, some of whom are actually yoga instructors.

Since the sermon, yoga teachers in the area have experienced a severe drop in class attendance, and it’s hurting their businesses.

However, a fitness center owned by the church offers a “body flow” class. According to some yoga teachers, one pose it teaches is identical to the Downward Facing Dog of yoga.

So—is yoga only demonic if you’re paying a non-church-owned gym to teach it?

Good Sportsmanship

November 23, 2018

Not sure how I missed this story last year, but it’s a goodie:

A 9-year-old boy who had never played goalie in hockey before volunteered because his team’s goalie didn’t show up for a match. His inexperience showed: He allowed 7 goals in the first period.

During the break, the other team’s goalie came over and gave him pointers. During the next 2 periods, the newbie only gave up 4 goals.

Kid A has guts, Kid B has heart.

Now, go face the day with the cockles of your heart well and truly warmed.

The Holiday Shopping Sales Mystery Solved

November 23, 2018

In November of 2010 I griped that the paper kept printing holiday shopping forecasts that wildly fluctuated from day to day, and said that they should just print the results in January and save newsprint in the meantime.

On November 22, 2018 the Post-Dispatch ran a column by Barry Ritholtz, a Bloomberg Opinion columnist, who explains why the predictions go up and down. He says it’s because the numbers are based on surveys, not data; and people don’t really remember how much they spent last year and won’t predict well how much they’ll spend this year, so it’s really all guesswork.

It’s nice to have that mystery solved.

APB on a Biped...

November 21, 2018

After the stories about people wanting to legally change age and gender, I wonder how long it will be before someone asks to legally change his or her species.

The guidelines for identifying people could take inventiveness to a whole new level.

Why Not Just Lie About It?

November 15, 2018

Still reeling from the possibility of people having Gender X on identification documents, I encountered this tidbit:

A Dutch man wants to make age optional as well. He doesn’t want to be 69, because he’s having a hard time getting dates online. He figures that if he says he’s 49, he’ll have better luck. So he asked a court for permission to officially change his age.

Why doesn’t he just lie about his vital statistics online, the way everybody else does?

November 17, 2018

The Post-Dispatch had a more ingenious solution: He should legally change his planet. Mars takes 687 days to orbit the sun, so if he were from Mars, he’d only be about 37.

December 9, 2018

The court rejected his request.

Maybe We Should Take the Hint

November 15, 2018

Someone is really dead-set against the Loop Trolley in St. Louis. (I mean, somebody besides almost every taxpayer who helped fund it.) It was originally expected to begin operation in 2013. Construction began in 2015, with a proposed opening date in 2016. There were delays.

Today, November 15, 2018, was to be the Big Day. The trolley is ready to go, and was set to start running at noon.

BUT: A major snowstorm cancelled the opening.

I think I’ll let somebody else take the first ride. Just in case.

November 21, 2018

The trolley us up and running, but not the full route yet. Someday…

Add Zombies to the List

November 15, 2018

Kentucky governor Matt Bevin has floated a reason for the recent spate of mass shootings:

Zombies.

Previously he blamed video games, cell phones, and access to psychotropic drugs for gun violence. This time he specified the fascination with zombies in games and film, arguing that American culture is “inundated by the worst things that celebrate death.”

Speaking of the shootings, he said, “We’ve had things that are fueled by both people that are insane, people that are hateful, and people that are just bent on wreaking havoc and perpetuating evil.”

I’m not disagreeing that the ritualized violence that people are encouraged to watch and participate in is not helping. But he forgot to add one other thing to the list:

Guns that fire multiple rounds in seconds, accessible, by law, to the insane, the hateful, and the people that are just bent on wreaking havoc and perpetuating evil.

OK, Governor, we’ll work on the zombies. You work on the guns.