October 21, 2017
I’ve been thinking that people send their kids to classes to learn
manners; so maybe someone could teach a class on how to avoid the introductory
forms of sexual harassment: The arm around the shoulders with the hand that
rests on the breast; the full-body hug, or any hug at all; the hand on the thigh,
or the constant shoulder-touching…I say “introductory”, because they’re sort of
tests that the harasser uses to see how far he/she can get. This post doesn’t
cover hard-core harassment.
If somebody is acting inappropriately, you may not feel like making a
big production out of it, on the grounds that the person may just have boundary
issues. But whether it’s definite sexual harassment or it’s your Aunt Minnie
trying to give you one of her infamous smooches, if it makes you uncomfortable,
you don’t have to take it.
You move away from the arm; you can also stumble, ever so slightly, and
apply a foot to an instep or connect with an ankle as you move away; or
possibly (if you can get the angle right) spill a drink on the
boundary-challenged person (especially the one whose hand was on your breast or
your rear). You straighten your arms against the impending hug, keeping the
person at a distance. You can use your elbows to create a space around
yourself, discouraging people from getting too close in the first place. If you
do have to remove a hand from your thigh, it is permissible to apply pressure
to the sensitive place between the thumb and the palm, or to the wrist. In
fact, I highly recommend it.
And if you’re sure of your ground, and don’t feel like being subtle,
well, I’m on board with that.
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