Fair Warning Is Not the Same as Shaming

December 28, 2020

 

There was an editorial in the Post-Dispatch that advised parents to warn their teens about getting drunk at parties and letting predators—often other teens—take compromising pictures that could be posted online, leading to devastating consequences. It made sense to me.

The backlash was amazing. Several people wrote in and accused the editorial board of shaming the victims. The responsibility, they said, lay with the predators not to behave badly (true), not with the victims to not get entrapped. 

So—When you tell your kid not to play in the street, or take candy from strangers, or drive drunk, or walk in Central Park alone after dark, is that shaming the victim? When you tell campers not to put food where a bear can reach it, are you shaming the victim?

No, you’re being responsible and giving neophytes warnings for their own good.

 

Blame the predators for their actions, sure; but by all means, do your best to keep others from being their prey.