Law & Order: COVID

August 10, 2021

(This one is for my sister, a fellow L&O junkie.)



Mike Cutter, putting the Republican Party on trial for disseminating a virus that targets Democrats.

“If Republicans are dying, why aren’t we hearing about it? All we hear from the GOP “base” is that the virus is a hoax, the vaccine is a hoax. So, Republicans are immune?”

“Well…”

“Tell me, Congressman Jones, why aren’t we hearing from the families of dead Republicans? It’s because there aren’t any, are there? NO Republicans have died from COVID.”

“Of course they...Wait…”

“I submit to you, Congressman Jones, that Republicans aren’t dying because it was a virus engineered to target Democrats. And the reason that you don’t want people to get vaccinated is that the vaccine will save the lives of those who get vaccinated; and who is most likely to get vaccinated right now? Democrats.”

Congressman Jones: “That’s ridiculous! Of course we don’t want people to die!”

Mike Cutter: “Oh, really? Then why do you try to make laws against mask mandates? Why are you discouraging people from getting the vaccine? Is that so that the Republicans, who are immune to the virus, can take over the country? Is that why you developed and spread the virus?”

Congressman Jones, goaded: “President Trump got the vaccine!”

Mike Cutter: “So, former President Trump did get the vaccine? And yet, why is that not enough to convince people—his own supporters—that it is safe? Is that because the reports of former President Trump getting the vaccine were hoaxes as well? They must be, because, according to your own propaganda, the vaccine can do terrible things to people. And you wouldn’t endanger your leader, would you?”

Congressman Jones: “He did… It’s perfectly safe. We…”

“Admit it, Congressman Jones, this virus was developed specifically to target Democrats. And that, sir, is why you and the Republican Party are on trial.”

Congressman Jones: “No, we didn’t! It IS killing Republicans! It’s taking us at an even higher rate than it is taking Democrats! It…”

Mike Cutter: “Which is it? Is the virus dangerous to everybody? Or is it a hoax? Is the vaccine dangerous, or did your own leader get it?



Tell me, Congressman.”