Bee Sensible

April 27, 2021

 

I learned from an article in Sunday’s paper that not all bees live in hives. In fact, most bees that are native to Missouri are solitary. They don’t make honey, but they’re great pollinators.

According to the article, they’re also less prone to sting than honeybees; so if you want to attract them to your yard to pollinate the flowers, you don’t have to worry so much about getting hurt.

Who knew?

 

If you want to attract these spunky pollinators to your yard, or just help out the native population, which is losing a lot of habitat, you can purchase a bee home. Consult the internet or the Post-Dispatch for details. 

They're Giving that Thesaurus a Workout

 April 25, 2021

 

I really enjoy watching the closed-captioning on Netflix. It’s amazing how many ways they have to describe background music. In just one episode of “Locke and Key”, music was described as:

 

Lively

Cheery

Playful

Dramatic

Suspenseful

Sinister

Inspiring

Sweeping

Somber

Solemn

Curious

Sentimental

Eerie

 

Sometimes I get as much of a kick out of the captioning as I do out of the shows.

His Faith Is in the Toilet

April 27, 2021

 

About 300 single-stall bathrooms in St. Louis County government buildings will now be available to anyone to use, regardless of gender. Although they’re convenient for everyone, the intent is to take some of the heat off people who might otherwise get grief for choosing one type or another, because of gender issues.

A council member objects, on the grounds that not making people choose between the men’s room and the women’s room is part of an assault on traditional religious and family values.

I hate to break it to him, but unisex restrooms have been around for years.

 

I also hate to break this to him, but I doubt that Jesus cares who goes in—as long as they close the door.

 

  

  

One Small Step for Humanity

 

April 24, 2021

 

Former police officer Derek Chauvin was convicted of murder in the death of George Floyd, the man whom he killed by kneeling on his neck until Mr. Floyd suffocated.

A gut-wrenching part of the tragedy was that, even with video evidence of the murder, there was actually some question about whether Chauvin would be convicted for killing a Black man. Justice has not been done in so many cases, even as far back as the video-recorded beating of Rodney King by police, decades ago, that people were honestly wondering what would happen.

And that’s a shame.

And, sadly, this conviction is only one drop in a bucket. Do I believe that from now on, police officers won’t beat non-white people and get away with it? Nor for a minute.

However, it did set a precedent.

 

It was a tiny step. But it was a step.

 

 

Are They Using Them to Hold Snacks?

April 24, 2021

 

Under new stadium rules, people are prohibited from bringing bags into the ballpark. Several women at work were lamenting the fact that they couldn’t bring their purses.

Among all the wailing and gnashing of teeth, all I could think was,

 

“Who brings a purse to a ball game?”

When Birds Rumble

April 24, 2021

 

A few years ago, I saw two birds walking in a circle. Sometimes one would flap his wings, but they continued moving around each other. I finally decided that it was a mating ritual, and left them to their privacy.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw two other birds circling each other. There was no wing display, so I couldn’t decide if it was a mating dance, or a territory dispute. I imagined one of them breaking into song, singing, “When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet…”

 

But I had to move on before they actually got down to business, so I’ll never know. 

Color Us Indifferent

April 12, 2021

 

The City Council in Kirkwood, MO wanted to replace old sidewalks. One member, however, wanted a stipulation that the new sidewalks not be stark white; they should be tinted to match existing sidewalks.

Other people pointed out that that would add considerably to the cost, as well as being difficult to achieve an exact match.

The councilwoman, however, voted against awarding a contract.

 

Maybe she could try crowdfunding to pay for the difference. That way she could find out just how interested members of the public are in having matching sidewalks. 

Change YOUR Schedule, not Everybody Else's

April 11, 2021

Some members of the Missouri state legislature are yammering on again about making Daylight Saving Time year-round. Apparently some of them like to get home in the daylight.

As an early riser, I’d appreciate the chance to actually wake up in sunlight. When DST hits in March, it removes any chance of that until late April. Frankly, after having spent the winter months taking morning walks in the dark, that extended period of waking to no sunlight gets downright depressing. 

Furthermore, having DST start in March is pointless, from the standpoint of spending time outdoors; it's either too cold or too windy most evenings to be outside anyway.

I will be happy to write to the employer of each of these people and ask them if they could grant their august employees a flexible schedule, letting them go home an hour early whenever they felt the need, so that they wouldn’t have to drag the rest of down with them in their quest for after-work sunlight.

Although, if they’re supposed to be capable of running the state government, you’d think that they could have the guts speak to their bosses themselves.

But Can He Cook?

April 12, 2021

 

The Queen song I like best is “’39”, written by Brian May. He was studying astrophysics before the band hit it big, and wrote a sci-fi song.

He’s also a gifted photographer, and has done work for NASA.

 

Musician, astrophysicist, photographer…Sounds like the perfect guy. 

Efficiency and Opera Don't Mix

April 10, 2021

 

I love opera singing. I don’t need to know what the words are, I just love that the singers give it everything they’ve got, no holding back. So I can listen to the music without seeing the show, and enjoy it.

I also love to watch opera. I like all the elaborate sets and costumes; but if I’m watching it, I want to know what the words are.

And once I find out what the words are, my efficient side kicks in, and I think, “If you didn’t repeat the same phrases 5 times, you could shorten this thing by an hour!”

Maybe I should just close my eyes at certain points, so I won’t care that they’re repeating themselves, and can just enjoy the music.

 

   

What's the Prize for Poetry Called?

April 6, 2021

 

I was looking up through the tree branches this morning, and through the twigs and blossoms I could see some stars, and it was very pretty. I also heard REALLY loud traffic sounds, and wished they’d stop, so I could hear all the morning birdsong; but everything is intertwined. Then I thought, “That’s the kind of thing poets say!” So I added some spacing and called it a poem.

 

I see the stars shining through twigs and tree blossoms, and I think, “How pretty!”

I hear loud traffic, and wish it were gone, so I could hear beautiful birdsong. 

But, for good or for bad, all life is intertwined. 

I also realized this morning that the horrible smell I’ve been encountering on my walks is from Bradford pear trees, which are very decorative, but also very stinky.

So, I thought that I could have added a line about Bradford pears looking so pretty and smelling so bad, but it might have been overkill.

So I made a separate poem for them:

Bradford pear

Looks so pretty

Smells so bad

 

And then at work I came up with:

         Badly-trained people

Are training me badly.

 

I guess I’m on a roll. It may not be great poetry, but it’s all from the heart.

 

  

Needed: A Breath of Fresh Air in the Missouri Senate

April 10, 2021

 

When I lived in Idaho, one county stubbornly refused to require emissions testing, until they couldn’t put it off any longer. Once they did that, I discovered that a mountain range that I had only caught occasional glimpses of over the years was visible every day!

For reasons that are not clear to me, the Missouri State Senate wants to eliminate emissions testing for St. Louis and the surrounding counties. They’re committed to this course of action, even though it means putting $52 million in federal funding at risk.  

 

Maybe they’re worried that too much breathable air makes people think clearly, thus jeopardizing the legislators’ positions.

Has He Tried Matching Their Figure?

 April 10, 2021

 

Times are getting tough for fast-food restaurants, post-pandemic, in terms of staffing.

In order to woo staff to its restaurants, Taco Bell has added four weeks of annual vacation, eight weeks of paid maternity leave, and four weeks of “baby bonding” time for general managers at company-owned locations.

What the hell were they getting before?

The CEO of FAT Brands, Inc. says that staffing restaurants that are re-opening after the pandemic is a “total nightmare.” He says that unemployment and stimulus checks have been a catalyst for people to stay at home rather than look for work. I assume he’s including the extra $300 per week that the federal government is adding to the checks.

Mr. Wiederhorn, I am here to tell you that nobody ever got rich living off unemployment, even with the additional money. If your restaurants can’t match that figure, you deserve all the heartache you get.

 

How Much Is Too Much?

 

April 8, 2021

 

I just read a recipe for banana bread that says that, in a pinch, you can substitute plain yogurt for the butter.

In a later paragraph on substitutions, it also says that you can substitute sour cream or yogurt for milk.

 

Now, is that in addition to the yogurt you used in place of the butter, or should you skip the second substitution? 

Silencing the Voice of the People?

 April 8, 2021

 

Mitch McConnell is upset that corporations are speaking out politically: for example, he feels that Delta Airlines, Coca Cola and Major League Baseball shouldn’t be making public statements against Georgia’s new voting laws. 

So: Corporations are “people” if they want to contribute to Mitch’s campaign; but otherwise, they have no business meddling in politics.

 

Got it.