We're Tougher Than We Knew

February 27, 2019

A lawsuit says that a former Trump campaign worker continues to suffer emotional distress after Donald Trump kissed her without permission. It happened in 2016, and she is still unable to forget. “I don’t sleep,” she says.

So, to all the women who have been groped or gotten unwanted kisses and did not fall apart—and I’m estimating that that’s 97% of women in the world—Congratulations. You’re tougher than you knew. And it’s a good thing; because if every woman who was groped or kissed fell apart, the world would pretty much stop working.

So, to the lawsuit-filing woman: We should continue to hold people accountable, and make it clear that our bodies are not here for other people’s amusement; but making the situation seem ludicrous isn’t helping.

Should He Have Gone Higher Class?

February 23, 2019

A news report by the Associated Press states that the police chief of Jupiter, Florida “was shocked to learn that [a famous person], who is worth $6 billion, was paying for sex inside a shopping-center massage parlor…”

The implication is that the chief was shocked that the man was using cheap services.

February 24, 2019

Although the above post made good copy, I wasn’t sure if the chief had mentioned the part about the suspect’s net worth, or if the story writers had just tossed that in. So I listened to the press conference.

Someone asked the chief if he was surprised that the man’s name turned up on the list, and he said yes. The chief didn’t bring his net worth into it at all.

And it made SUCH a good story…

It’s Always Something

February 21, 2019

After many dreary days, the sun is pouring through the windows, lighting my front hall, filling it with warmth—

and highlighting just how long it’s been since I dust-mopped.

Revised Plan—Have the Getaway Car on Standby

February 17, 2019

A New Jersey man was arrested when he mistook an unmarked police car

for the Lyft ride he had phoned for after robbing a house.

Best Police Facebook Page

February 14, 2019

Here’s another Amusing Criminal Story from Ballwin, MO. I don’t know if they have the corner on quirky crooks, or if their police department just has the funniest Facebook page.

The February 11 entry describes a serial thief who stole alcohol, and was arrested after officers “observed him and his backpack full of alcohol clanging down the sidewalk…”

The thief keeps a journal of his crimes. The entry for that day was blank, so officers filled it in for him:  ARRESTED

Anyway, here’s a link to their Facebook page, in case you need a pick-me-up:

https://www.facebook.com/BallwinPD/

Check out their Weekly Round Up posts. You don’t need to be on Facebook to look at their entries.

Tele-Med, Anyone?

February 8, 2019

There was an article in today’s paper about how employers are trying to convince employees to use telemedicine via video, but employees are resistant. (I wonder if they don’t use the 1-800 Nurse system, either.)

I don’t know how it would work with taking blood pressure and temperature, and feeling those neck glands, but in all other respects, I’m thinking, “Sign me up!” No driving to the doctor when you’re sick, no waiting forever at the doctor’s office, and taking more time off work than you’d planned for…You still have a co-pay, but there are a lot of reasons that it’s more convenient than a traditional office visit.

February 14, 2019

Since I wrote this, someone I know has actually used it, and it worked well for him. If your health plan offers it, give it a try.

(Do check out those co-pays, though. Some people say that their co-pay is higher for the tele-med. Do your research.)

The Bookkeeper—A Big Deal in Your Company (Part II)

February 9, 2019

I just read another article about a bookkeeper embezzling from her employers.

My question is, “Where were the checks and balances?” She wrote phony invoices, and paid herself for mileage she was not entitled to, and used company credit cards for personal purchases, and apparently nobody noticed.

This scenario happens with old and trusted employees, and with new employees that are apparently go-getters on their own account.

Either way, somebody should be checking on the bookkeeping. You may think it’s insulting to check on your employees, but as long as you have standards in place that you adhere to impartially, there shouldn’t be a problem. Any reasonable bookkeeper should expect to back up expenses recorded; and any reasonable department head should expect to have to keep track of expenditures, so that phony invoices would be noticed.

If you’re not paying attention, you’re asking for trouble.

So, don’t ignore your bookkeeper. Ever.

The Bookkeeper—A Big Deal in Your Company (Part I)

February 9, 2019

I had a job where I had to call companies that were past-due on their invoices. I can’t remember how many times I heard, “My bookkeeper got behind,” or, “My bookkeeper quit, and I don’t know what’s going on.”

Either that’s the standard line for not paying your bills,

or people aren’t paying enough attention to their bookkeepers.

And by “paying attention” I mean, “Not appreciating exactly what they do for the company.”

Also, “Not paying them enough.”

Because if you look at the salaries for bookkeepers, they’re often pretty low.

Why? The bookkeeper pays your bills, and makes sure that people pay you. You may think it’s a no-brainer of a job—Pay, Collect, Deposit the money—but it’s a pretty big deal. You’ll find that out if your bookkeeper ever leaves suddenly.

So, look for quality help—and pay for it.

Another reason not to underestimate the role of your bookkeeper: If you do, you may find yourself in the situation described in Part II.

It Worked for Twinkies and PMS

February 12, 2019

Re: “It’s Ten Times Worse…” (Feb 11, 2019)

When your guy is feeling sick, and you point out that you carried on with life when you felt that bad,

If he says, “You can’t have felt this bad, or you wouldn’t have been able to do all that,”

You have my permission to brain him.

We’ll call it the Ten Times Worse Syndrome Defense.

It’s Ten Times Worse for Him

February 11, 2019

It’s a pretty widely-accepted stereotype that when a man and a woman are sick with the same illness, the man’s illness is perceived (by him) to be ten times worse than the woman’s. Some people say that it’s because women are used to powering through because they have to take care of things, or because they’re conditioned by society to be nurturers.

I used to think that it was just whininess.

But what if it’s a real condition? What if men really do have physiological differences that make illnesses like colds (and everything else) seem worse?

Don’t sneer. People used to think that PMS was a made-up condition, too. And the consensus is that the pain of childbirth would do a man in, that he could never handle the stressors on the body.

So, who knows? Maybe Ten Times Worse Syndrome is a real thing.

If scientists discover that it is, maybe we can stop rolling our eyes when our guys are deathly ill from the common cold. 

But while the jury’s still out—no promises.

Weather or Not

February 11, 2019

I just heard a refreshingly brief weather report on the radio. 

Instead of five minutes of graphs and chitchat, I heard,

“Today, a high of 38 and rainy. Tonight, 34 and rainy.”

Done.

Another Inexperienced Crook

February 10, 2019

I should have a category for First-Time Criminals.

The victim of an attempted carjacking in St. Louis refused to surrender his keys, so the would-be carjacker fired his gun at the victim’s feet. The gun didn’t fire, the victim struggled with the gunman, and the gunman got the keys.

But he dropped his cell phone.

The victim picked up the phone; the gunman asked if he could get his phone back in return for the car keys. The exchange was made, and the gunman fled.

(Note to would-be carjack victims—It’s a great story, but it will rarely work out this way. Hand over the keys.)

A Tale of Two Countries’ Jerks

February 10, 2019

A politician posed in blackface back in the ’80’s; either that or he dressed as the Klansman next to the person in blackface—he can’t remember which. Or if he even did it. His memory is apparently very, very fuzzy.

It was a crappy Halloween joke, and people are upset now that it’s been discovered. It’s chilling that anyone could dress as a Klansman at any age and think it was a joke.

He may have evolved as a person (bad memory notwithstanding), or he may not have. He apparently did enough good things to get elected governor, but people want him to resign.

A few years back, Britain’s Prince Harry dressed up as a Nazi for Halloween. Considering all the ways the Nazis harmed Britain—as a country, and as the individuals who suffered the effects of the War; and considering that he comes from the ruling family of Britain…it seems incredible that he could have been so insulated from the effects of the Nazis to think that any sort of costume like that would be acceptable. He was excoriated; but now people have moved on and think he’s A-OK.

They were both jerks in the past. The question I would consider when deciding their fates is, 

Are they making life better or worse for their countries now? 

How Did That Work Out for You?

February 8, 2019

Kudos to David Nicklaus of the Post-Dispatch for pointing out the obvious today in his column about the state giving film-tax credits to movie companies who film here.

Bottom line: It benefits nobody but the filmmakers.

When I lived in two other states, they both fell for the same gag.

Why didn’t they do some research first? Why not run the numbers and see if it really benefited the folks who have already tried it? Instead they just forged ahead, believing rosy projections based on—what?

This doesn’t apply only to film-tax credits, of course. It applies to any new initiative…education ideas, community-improvement efforts, funding sports teams, etc. There are lots of good ideas out there that just don’t pan out.

So, before your region jumps on any more expensive bandwagons, make sure somebody calls up the first folks who tried it—preferably after it’s been in operation for at least two years—and asks,

“So, how’d that work out for you?”

Maybe They Should Wear Ankle Monitors

February 2, 2019

After a recent incident in which two on-duty police officers were discovered relaxing at the home of one of them, the police chief of St. Louis has vowed that the department will take steps to insure that on-duty officers are actually out working, and not at home.

I thought that maybe they’d fit the officers with ankle monitors, but apparently the monitoring involves GPS and radios.

Not nearly as interesting.