Prior Experience Not Desirable

December 27, 2019

Missouri has just awarded licenses for companies to sell medical marijuana. Since medical marijuana has barely become legal, I wondered what kinds of qualifications people were listing on their applications.

I have extensive experience in selling marijuana

Presumably, “I have extensive experience in selling marijuana, and have all the equipment and the business framework in place,” wouldn’t go over very well.

Circular Logic?

December 27, 2019

They say that people who are lost tend to wander in circles.

I’m so directionally challenged that I would probably wander in a straight line.

The Sound and the Fury

December 24, 2019

I saw “Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker” last night. I actually like it better in retrospect than I did at the time.

Part of the reason for that is that I was assaulted by sound—even wearing though I was wearing earplugs. I really couldn’t concentrate on anything. And I don’t see how other people could stand it, especially young kids.

We’ve got laws about putting kids in car seats, but whatever laws there are about protecting them from damaging sound levels aren’t working. I think we need better ones.

If I want to get lawmakers interested, maybe I should figure out a way to tie the issue to sports.*

*See “Give Your Legislation a Sporting Chance”, Dec. 18, 2019

What's Old Is New

December 23, 2019

Some of us were reminiscing about the old Wish Books, catalogs that had everything you could dream of in the way of toys for Christmas. We’d circle what we wanted, and maybe get some of it. But now everything’s done by website, and it’s not as much fun.

Well, apparently, younger people are seeing the advantages of catalogs: Catalogs, they say, are easier to look at than scrolling through websites, and you don’t have to keep clicking on items to get the info you want. So catalogs may make a bit of a comeback.

Nice to know that some of our old-style ways are being appreciated.

This May Be My Chance

December 19, 2019

The lack of huge lottery jackpots is apparently affecting sales of lottery tickets in Missouri. It seems that people got used to seeing really huge payoffs, and they got spoiled. According to Lottery chief May Scheve, “Nobody wants to win $40 million anymore.”

Hey, I wouldn’t mind. And if nobody else is buying tickets—maybe now's my chance.

Not Your Typical Christmas Heirloom

December 18, 2019

If you suspect that that fruitcake your neighbor gave you has been around for a while, take comfort in knowing that there’s an older one kicking around.

A fruitcake baked by Fidelia Ford in 1878 is still in her family. She died before the cake could be eaten at Christmas; her family considered it her legacy, and has taken care of it ever since.

According to one of her descendants, who took a bite of it in 2003, it tastes like “thrashed wheat”. But at this stage of the game, that’s sort of beside the point.

That’s quite an heirloom.

Give Your Legislative Proposal a Sporting Chance

December 18, 2019

From “Government Inaction”, Sept. 15, 2019:

The [Missouri] senate president has convened a working group to investigate whether they should form a special committee on gun violence.

However: Now that the NCAA has messed up the U of Missouri’s football agenda, no fewer than three proposals to defy NCAA regulations, by allowing college athletes to get paid, have been introduced by state legislators.

If you want legislative action, tie your proposal to the good of sports. You have a much better chance of getting a hearing.

Saving Water

December 15, 2019

Now that low-flush toilets have improved to the point where they actually work, I’d like to talk about another device that could save water: The pull-out, push-in shower faucet. With most faucets, you have to turn the water all the way down to Cold in order to turn off the shower, which is a pain when you shampoo your hair. Some people may not even bother to turn off the water, which is wasteful.

With the pull-out knob, when you turn off the water to shampoo your hair, you just push in the knob, then pull it back out when you’re ready to rinse. Saves time and water.

Unfortunately, if your shower is built with the turn-to-cold knob, it requires a pretty substantial remodel of the fixture, involving going into the wall where the pipes are, and replacing a valve.

It would be swell if contractors put in the pull-out, push-in fixture right from the get-go.

January 10, 2020

A quick search of the internet revealed that there are valves that you can install on your showerhead to turn the water off, so that you can keep your ideal mix of hot and cold once it’s set.

So now I know. 

Art or Idol?

December 15, 2019

Now that the refurbishment of the Missouri state capitol building is complete, a legislator is objecting to replacing the statue of Ceres, the Roman goddess of agriculture, that adorns the top. He claims that it isn’t Christian, and is therefore a false god.

Rep. Moon, if we catch anybody praying to the statue, we’ll let you know.

Another Reason to Pay Cash

December 16, 2019

If you don’t want to shop with cash merely because it’s good for your budget (although that’s a very good reason), here’s something else to think about:

When you shop at certain stores, Macy’s and Home Depot among them, they give Facebook your info so that Facebook can send you targeted ads.

The ads aren’t the problem—you can change your Facebook settings so that you don’t get them. But if the stores are giving Facebook your private information, to whom else are they giving it?

Another reason to pay cash, and to skip the rewards cards. (See “Dis-Loyalty Cards” March 31, 2017).

Arguing the Merits of Bickering

December 15, 2019

There is evidence to show that constant bickering with your partner is stressful, and therefore a health hazard.

Another school of thought is that bickering can actually make couples healthier.

One take on this is that the bickering relieves stress; today I heard a snippet on the radio that said that the body’s immune system reacts to bickering the way it would to a threat, and ramps up.

If that’s the case, I know couples who should never have been sick a day in their lives.

(My take is that some bickering is inevitable unless your partner is a clone of you. But constant bickering is indeed stressful, and you should get outside help if that’s what you’re doing.)

Flight Plan

December 15, 2019

I was watching an episode of “Law & Order” from 1994, and a character says, “He calls me to [take him to the airport] 45 minutes before his flight.”

Can you imagine? Oh, the good old days.

A True Hero

December 11, 2019

I don’t like to gush, but the 5-year-old girl in Alaska, clad only in socks and light clothing, who carried her 18-month-old sister a half-mile when it was 31 degrees below zero leaves me awestruck. If she had just walked unencumbered, I would have been amazed; but she was carrying her sister. You try that.

The girls were home alone when the power went out, and the 5-year-old got scared, and decided to go to a neighbor’s house. Again—that presence of mind in a 5-year-old leaves me stunned.

The girls made it to a neighbor’s house. They had cold-related injuries, but are expected to make a full recovery.

Young lady, you are truly a hero.

Every Business Needs an Eeyore

December 6, 2019

Another country-wide business is closing stores. They blame the economy, but I think that there’s more to it than that. I think that many companies just never build market saturation into their business plans.

You start a business. It takes off. Then people get tired of waiting for the product, so they go elsewhere. If you don’t want to fail, you have two choices: Price the product high, and market it as an elite brand; or expand your operation. You may choose to open locations in different parts of the same city, or in other cities. Then you build more. And for a while, all is well.

Then the copycats come. Or the novelty of your brand wears off. Or you cut corners to save costs, quality suffers, and business slows. Or the economy tanks. Or you don’t pay enough to keep motivated employees who care about keeping the customers happy. Anything can happen. And you find yourself looking at fewer profits.

But how many companies build that reality into their business plans?

From what I’m seeing, not enough.

Major businesses have a handle on the basics: The minute a copycat competitor opens, they roll out a new product, or hype their superior customer service, or buy out the other guy and get his product. But for some reason, businesses are still taken by surprise when their market shares drop. Why?

Because enthusiasm overpowers reality when they’re making their expansion plans.

Once a product has proved that it can sell, the focus is all on expansion. But you have to be realistic: Nothing lasts forever. You need a cushion in your business plan, one that says, “At some point, a regional market will be saturated. We need an exit strategy, with funds available so that when that market isn’t producing, we can afford to move elsewhere.” Or, “This product will wear out its welcome. If we can’t find something else to keep customer interest, we’ll need to decrease production and fall back on exclusivity for a while, until interest returns.” Or, “We need to move the company in a completely different direction, and pursue a completely different type of product.” It’s a natural course of events, but one that MUST be accounted for in the budget.

You need an Eeyore in your company: Somebody who says, “Sure, it looks good now, but just wait…”. Somebody who can see the weak spots in your business strategy, and who can figure out how to adjust for them.

Don’t just look at how well you’re doing. Look around at the stores who only concentrated on expansion, and didn’t factor reality into the business plan, and remind yourself of how that worked out for them.

Don’t be a cockeyed optimist. Pay attention to Eeyore.

Seeing Dress Code Discrimination Clearly

November 30, 2019

In 2017, I wrote about lawmakers in Britain debating making it illegal to require women to wear heels to work, and marveled at how this sort of discrimination can still exist.

Not to be outdone in the Sexual Discrimination in the Workplace Department, Japanese companies not only require women to wear high heels to work, but some companies have forbidden women to wear eyeglasses at work. Various reasons were given for the ban, but according to a sociology professor at Kyoto University of Foreign Studies, it’s about women having a feminine appearance; and that apparently doesn’t mesh with wearing glasses, which the bosses perceive as making women look “too cold” or “too intelligent”.

A petition and social media discussions are ongoing right now. I hope they stop this nonsense in its tracks.

Even Ordinary-Looking People Can Be Great Performers

November 28, 2019

                                     

I was watching the Macy’s Parade, and saw a group called the 610 Stompers. They were a bunch of ordinary-looking guys doing dance moves. They were not young, they were not lithe and slender; but they could dance!

I was tickled to see them demonstrate that people can dance without having Hollywood or Broadway’s version of the Perfect Body. Go, guys!!!

Jingle All the Way

Back by popular demand: My reminder that you don’t owe every organization a Christmas donation. Enjoy a guilt-free month.

December 15, 2016


Do you ever feel guilty during the holidays? You give a Toy to a Tot; you put change in the Salvation Army bucket every time you come across one; you take a tag from the tree at church to provide a gift for the needy; and there are still tons of people asking for donations, until you’re just tapped out.


Then my church takes up a special collection for something or other, on top of the Nut and Candy Sale, and the Giving Tree. I thought, “Seriously? Because people aren’t already giving enough this season?”

To sum it all up I composed this ditty (with a very bad rhyme scheme):



The holidays are here,
I’m supposed to spread some cheer

All they need’s a small donation
All I want is a vacation

Salvation Army gets my vote,
The ringer’s cold, even wearing a coat

To Toys for Tots,
I’ve already given lots

The paper prints cases
With lots of sad faces

The church wants some extry;
the Giving Tree’s in the vestry

The food bank needs bread
To come out ahead

They all need my dough,
How can I say No?

I’m sorry, St. Jude,
I don’t mean to be rude

But my wallet’s multi-tasking,
So Please—stop asking!